I smoked for so long it seemed to be just a part of me. I was one of those happy smokers! I knew it was a bad habit, but didn’t beat myself up over it. Life was different 30 years ago, smokers were happy in commercials, famous people recommended cigarettes. We didn’t question it that much; smoking was just a part of our daily life. Of course that changed and more and more smokers started to feel really guilty about it. I never understood that part. If you don’t like something, why would you continue to do it? Addiction…you have to be kidding me, I am not addicted to smoking.” I can stop anytime I want to”! Boing..there you have it, that’ was my statement then! I didn’t know any better.
Things have changed over the last 10-15 years…smokers became almost outlaws. Being a smoker is hard these days, you have to leave everywhere; we are not welcome anymore. Well we are, but our friend the cigarette is not welcome! You can’t smoke in restaurants or bars, wherever we are and whatever we do..we have to go outside and get our “Nicotine fix”. Summer or winter, sunshine or rain, we march outside! Being a smoker became more and more uncomfortable! But..I still smoked, it didn’t bother me at all. I liked being a smoker!
Something changed over the last years, cigarettes started to taste different. New chemicals were added, cigarettes were suppose to stop burning when you put them down… fire-proof cigarette, an oxymoron in my opinion…but as usual nobody asked me! I didn’t like the taste anymore, something was different and I started coughing instantly. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but slowly my cough got worse. Every morning I had to cough for minutes, even in the middle of the night when I turned around in bed I woke up coughing and had to roll back on the other side, so that the cough stopped. What was wrong with my sinuses?
I didn’t like smoking that much anymore and I started to question my habit. All of a sudden the happy smoker made statements like “I am going to give up smoking one day”, they just looked at me…..”yeah right”. But deep down inside me I knew it, I mean it! I didn’t have a plan, I didn’t know when and how, but I knew I would quit smoking. Not once in all those years have I tried to quit smoking…NEVER. Other people did and I watched them, some quit for good, but the most failed.
So when will I quit?