Teachers and students…

teacher-quote (1)

TEACHER ~ Why are you late?
STUDENT ~ Class started before I got here.

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TEACHER ~ John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN ~ You told me to do it without using tables.

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TEACHER ~ Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN ~ K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER ~ No, that’s wrong
GLENN ~ Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

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TEACHER ~ Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD ~ H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER ~ What are you talking about?
DONALD ~ Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

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TEACHER ~ Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE ~ Me!

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TEACHER ~ Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN ~ Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER ~ Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘
MILLIE ~ I is..
TEACHER ~ No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE ~ All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’

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TEACHER ~ George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS ~ Because George still had the axe in his hand…..?

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TEACHER ~ Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON ~ No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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TEACHER ~ Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE ~ No, sir. It’s the same dog.

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TEACHER ~ Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD ~ A teacher

and my favorite…

TEACHER ~ Three people are in a lifeboat, adrift at sea. They have four cigarettes, but no matches or lighters. How can they each smoke a cigarette?
HAROLD ~ Throw one cigarette overboard, which will make the boat a cigarette lighter.

 

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