What I learned at the movies…

breakfast-at-tiffanys-1

I was born in the 60’s, times were different then…going to the movies was a big-to-do. There was only one movie theater close by…and that was 35 miles away. My Grandmother or other kids parents drove us to town for the day and we all were excited. We had 50 cent that we could spend, sometimes even a dollar. We went to the one and only ice cream parlor right beside the movie theater and would either have a milkshake or an ice cream sundae…we would sit there with other wanna-be-adults, debating and discussing the movie we were going to watch. They had always two movies playing and it was a hard decision to make.

I was 13 years old when I saw the first movie in a real movie theater, not just on a projected film in the school auditorium. I remember it so well. The movie theater looked so elegant, carpet everywhere to dim the noise level. The fold down seats were comfortable and there were small ashtrays in the armrest.

We watched our idols and wanted to be just like them:

They were all so sophisticated, so chic and they all smoked. Our stars would puff away on screen and somehow made filling our lungs with tobacco and nicotine appealing and attractive. One of my all time favorite movies is “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”. This 1961 film starred the beautiful Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard. The movie posters, now a timeless representation of classic Hollywood glamour, always included Hepburn with the iconic over-sized cigarette holder. I wanted one like that and later on I actually bought one. Never really used it…but I had to have it. I do realize I have young readers as well, so just in case you have never watched my favorite old movie…here is the trailer:

Over time I learned more important things at the movies, the most of them as useless as smoking 🙂

  • During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
  • All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets, which reach up to the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
  • Every grocery shopping bags contains at least one stick of French Bread.
  • The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want, without difficulty.
  • The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
  • A man will show no pain while taking the most brutal beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
  • If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
  • When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill – just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
  • Kitchens don’t have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
  • Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
  • The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective – or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
  • Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
  • Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
  • It is not necessary to say Hello or Goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
  • Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
  • All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
  • It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
  • A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
  • If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
  • Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
  • You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
  • Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds – unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
  • An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur, will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.
  • When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
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8 thoughts on “What I learned at the movies…

  1. Excellent post… I agree with you in your choice regarding “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”… Still Truman Capote’s brief story is even better than the movie!~
    Hugs & love Aquileana 😀

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  2. Bloody clever stuff, B !!! – made me laugh, too. Except that you were born in the ’60s – I was born in the ’40s … 😦

    Like

    • You are just a spring chicken. My neighbor to the left, her name is Virginia is a classy lady, she is 84 years old and beats me when we work outside (and I am in good shape). She is dressed tiptop from head to toe, not like me wearing jeans and old man shirts in my workroom. She is active and never sits still. She thinks everybody under 80 is a spring chicken. So there you have it, you are a spring chicken 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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