Every season has been fun so far, I can honestly say I enjoyed them all. I just turned autumn and I like it. Yes, I am talking about my life, my life divided in seasons.
Spring and summer have been fun, there were a few rainy days and sometimes I thought they would last forever, but they didn’t. The clouds went away and the sun always came out again, each and every time.
Spring and summer passed by quickly and now it’s autumn and it’s fairly new to me. I have become more forgiving and less critical of myself. I don’t take myself so serious anymore. I look in the mirror and see the first silver gray shining through and it makes me smile. I wouldn’t trade my husband, my wonderful life and my amazing friends for less gray hair or a perfect face and body. A great sense of freedom comes with aging, a freedom many of my friends and family never knew, because they left this earth to soon. Life has four seasons, but there is no guarantee we see them all.
I have aged, there are wrinkles around my eyes and my mouth, an indication that the laughter never stopped, even though it seemed like it a few times. I was always very hard on myself, expected perfection, especially at work. The perfect look, the perfect impression…perfect, perfect, perfect. I have become kinder to myself. Now I am my own best friend and not being perfect, is perfectly fine.
The rules are more flexible these days and so am I. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 2 am and sleep until noon? I can work until late at night if I want to, I make my own schedule now and have a different pace. I sing loud to these wonderful tunes of the 70 & 80’s, and weep over a lost friend when I feel like it. We dance in the kitchen like teenagers, when one of our old songs plays in the radio.
Autumn has a lot to offer. I will walk the beach in a bathing suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the youngsters around me. They will get old too.
I might get more forgetful. But then again, some of life is just as well forgotten and I always remember the important things.
My heart has been broken over the years. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a beloved pet has to be put down? But broken hearts are what gives us understanding, strengths and compassion. A heart never broken will never know the joy of being imperfect. Hearts do grow back bigger, it is true.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning silver, and to have the laughs of the past forever etched into grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore.
I’ve even earned the right to be wrong. I have earned the right to have an opinion (even when nobody asks for it).
So, to answer today’s question, I like autumn. It has set me free. I like the person I have become, even with the chin hair that seems to come with it. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.
And I shall eat ice cream every single day (if I feel like it). We are in our 50’s now and if we are lucky we will explore winter together as well. Whatever will be…will be, it doesn’t scare me.
Seasons change so quickly! Which one do you most look forward to? Which is your least favorite?