I wrote to my Mother years ago, a letter that I never send, a letter that she never read. There was no need to send it, it wasn’t meant for her in the first place. I didn’t know if she was still alive or not, I didn’t know where she was and didn’t want to know.
I wrote a letter to her, because I wanted to let go. I wanted to let go of my past, wanted to free the ghost that was hunting me. It all happened so long ago, I wanted to let all the bad feelings go…and so I did. I wrote down what I felt, forgave her and wished her well.
It took me weeks to write it, it was a long letter. I changed the wording, deleted curse words, had to add on, because I remembered something I had forgotten to mention.
One night I walked outside with a glass of wine, sat down and read the letter quietly. I sat there for a long time afterwards and then I burned the letter. It felt good, I had “said” what I wanted to say. A weight lifted of my shoulder, I had faced my demons.
Days later I met with my best friend, she knew about this part of my childhood and I told her about the letter. She was proud of me and gave me a hug. Then she said “Now, when you meet your Mom in an afterlife, you two will have a better relationship.” I listen to her and the first thought that came to my mind was “Hell, No”.
So today I would like to add a Postscriptum to my letter to Mother
PS. Just in case there is an afterlife. I wish you well, have fun and enjoy, but please don’t bother me in case we might be “living” on the same floor. I have forgiven, but I will never forget~!
Write a letter to your mom. Tell her something you’ve always wanted to say, but haven’t been able to.