Valuable lessons

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My Grandmother was a wise woman , she taught me a lot.  She too had a great sense of humor, so I  am certain the following list would make her laugh.

Things I learned as a child:

About A JOB WELL DONE ~ “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

About RELIGION ~ “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

About TIME TRAVEL ~ “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

About LOGIC ~ “Because I said so, that’s why.”

And more logic ~ “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

About FORESIGHT ~ “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

About IRONY ~ “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

About OSMOSIS ~ “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

About CONTORTIONS ~ “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

About STAMINA ~ “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

About the WEATHER ~ “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

About HYPOCRISY ~ “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

About BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION ~ “Stop acting like a child!”

About ENVY ~ “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who would be grateful for a plate of spinach.”

About ANTICIPATION ~ “Just wait until we get home.”

About RECEIVING ~ “You are going to get it when you get home!”

About MEDICAL SCIENCE ~ “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

About ESP ~ “Put your hat on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

About HUMOR ~ “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

About how to BECOME AN ADULT ~ “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

About my ROOTS ~ “Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

About WISDOM ~ “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.” (I do)

About ANIMALS ~ “A little birdie told me”

About GOD’s plan ~ “If God had wanted you to have holes in your ears he would have put them there!

We all heard the same things when we were kids, regardless in what country we grew up. It’s like a universal language that is used by adults, so all the kids all over the world get the same lessons, even though the language might not be the same.



11 thoughts on “Valuable lessons

  1. I had to laugh, too, of course!
    And nearly all in your list reminded me of MY Granny !
    Must confess that I didn’t agree with her when she didn’t give me more “logical” answers…..
    So I never repeated those sentences to my children , unless I wanted to quote her…
    Nonna Ida , was her name…!

    Liked by 1 person

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