A good of friend of mine passed away recently. She was 95 1/2 years old and it wasn’t unexpected, but still death left a mark once again. I met her when she was in her late 80’s and fell instantly in love with the little, stubborn, old Lady, who became our neighbor.
I knew this friendship would sooner or later end with heartache and was very well aware of her age -still we became close friends. I often walked over to her house and we watched TV or just talked. We went shopping together and participated in each other’s Holidays and special events. She always had a bottle of my favorite wine in the fridge and I spoiled her with my cooking as often as I could.
Death is coming more often into my life lately and I don’t like it. Death is taking my friends away, one by one, but not just that, death lingers in my mind. Every time I lose someone, I start thinking about who will be next. Will it be me? What about my husband? Instead of enjoying life to the fullest, I sit there reminiscing and wondering. How long do I have and what will be?
All of it is so against my nature. This has to stop~!
I am writing to officially complain about your constant lurking, particularly in the corners of my mind, heart and soul.
The first 20 years of my life were fine, you left me pretty much alone, but the last 31 years were different; I was always aware of your presence. You have had me in fear, that you could take away my life and send me hurling into a celestial abyss anytime you wanted to. You have had me in fear, that you would take my husband away or any other person I love. You left me scared and I started to wonder about my own demise as well. Not so much about the “when” but I started to fear about how you would get me. I came a few times close to meet you, but you backed off. Did I scare you?
You are putting up quite a show and you use special effects like wars and diseases, along with random weird acts by crazy people to scare me and you have succeeded so far.
I am writing this to inform you that I have canceled my subscription to your mindless propaganda, please remove my name from your mailing list. Let me explain why:
Death, you are an impostor, you are a fraud. You have paralyzed me, you have paralyzed an entire species. I am sorry to inform you, that it is not longer working. I feared you for too long…not anymore. I finally realized that you are just a part of life and there is nothing to fear. I live under life’s jurisdiction, which states plainly and in bold letters, that one day, life as I know it, will end. It will happen at an undisclosed time and at an undisclosed location. There are no secrets involved; life has been upfront with all of us right from the start. It might be tomorrow, or in 30 years from today.
As far as life not letting us in on when we leave this earth, this is merely for entertainment purposes and is not the least bit malicious. After all, how exciting is a good story, when you know how it ends?
My eyes are wide open now, I do not longer fear you. I am not longer paralized, I walk straight with my head held high. I will not longer sour my life with thoughts about you; you are going to be none existing for me.
You deserve to be pelted with rotten tomatoes in the town square and left in the hot sun till you shrivel to death yourself.
Until we meet