Beside the Point~!


I dislike the whole idea of paying it forward, because ever since that movie, many people go around and brag with what they have done. Receipts with a generous tip or a kind message get photographed and are being showed at Facebook and other social media sites. Paying it forward became a sport, a competition for many. It’s like people are under peer pressure “let me top what my neighbor just did.”

It’s so easy to confuse true compassion with altruism. I don’t want to life the Oprah-life and go around showing off what I do, or talk about my give-away’s. I rather do what I do in silence, the way it should be done.

The point is not to pay it back when someone is kind, or to pay it forward…but to pass it on.


Pay It Forward

Tell us about a time when you responded to an act of kindness with one of your own.


27 thoughts on “Beside the Point~!

  1. Okay, Ladybug, after many many problems in posting (WordPress cancelled out my post edits three times) I finally got posted. I ended up taking a comment made to you (and erased before posting) as well as the preceding one sent to you by mistake into a blog post of my own. I paraphrased one of your comments to me and included one in quotes. If you don’t want me to use it, let me know and I’ll take your comment down. I included a link to your post so people could see your original posting that prompted mine. I don’t know if it will show up as a pingback in your comments or not as I don’t know how it works when I give a link to someone else’s blog, but the intention is for them to read your blog, not to draw readers to mine.

    Are you having any problems with WordPress saying your posts are updated but then losing the edits? I’ve had this problem for three days as has a friend. Someone said a number of blogs have been hacked and I’m sure there are many complications. Thanks for the inspiration for my post. I, too, always feared being influenced if I read other blogs before writing my own but I’m thinking that perhaps it inspires thought–as proven by these long comments I seem to be making…Okay. I’ll shut up now. Judy

  2. Pingback: Good Still Exists Everywhere!! | lifelessons – a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown

  3. A thoughtful post. I think someone’s kindness does inspire one’s own action, but it does defeat the purpose if you feel the need to shout about it. I agree. I think you’re right that true compassion, and empathy are key to engaging in acts of kindness, seeing a need and responding. And the act itself is its own reward.

  4. Darn. Ladybug, I came back to my computer and saw Marilyn’s comment and thought it was her blog I was writing on so addressed this comment to her! I can’t erase it from your blog, but please do if you wish to. This is what happens when I let life interfere with blogging..Ha. I think you also requested I not give you links, which I no longer do. Your point about blowing one’s own horn is a good one as you can see from my response above. Please do erase it if you wish..Thanks, judy

  5. As a Catholic it is deemed improper to go bragging about your acts of kindness but sometimes, people need to be prodded in the direction to help others who really need it by seeing the examples that are set before them 🙂

    • I remember boarding school. The nuns opened the back door every night and put out tables and chairs for the homeless or less fortunate. One day a reporter came by and wanted to take pictures and the nuns forbid it. I asked them why and they said pretty much the same. ‘You do what you do for you, not for others and you do it quietly’. I have never heard of losing points…but I like it.

    • I have never heard this before, Marilyn, but it sounds like it would make a great theme for a story or poem. I think we all need to hear about the positive things that happen in the world. We are all so weighted down by the terrible ones. But perhaps the secret is to broadcast the good acts of others rather than your own. If you look at blogs like Mark’s or several others whose names have slipped my mind, they are often publicizing gross wrongs in the world and encouraging people to draft letters of protest or sign petitions or to give their support by other means. He is not blowing his own horn, but speaking out of a desire to effect change in the world. These are acts we can all see and in promoting them and him, we can spread the word of positive acts not our own. I am not disputing what you say, understand. I agree that people who constantly tell you of all their good works are irritating. On the other hand those who merely demonstrate their own good works by their actions are such wonderful role models that they have no need to blow their own horns. (I just read your comments about posting long comments on your blog. Is this too long? You also request people not post links to their own blogs, which I often do with the idea it makes it easier to find new material or material that speaks to the same theme. I will stop doing this, also, now that at this late date I have read your requests.)

      • The long comment won’t matter to Marilyn, since you made it on my blog (grin).

        If I might answer that. I think the world is full with good, but many of us don’t see it anymore, because their focus has shifted. Do we need to point out the good in the world? I don’t think so, I think we have to point out that it is still existing everywhere.

      • My next comment to you got so long, ladybug, that I decided to use it as my answer to the prompt. Ha! I had decided to read what others had to say before writing my own response and it seems as though that’s a good way to prime the pump of thought when you don’t know what to say. Thanks for your blog and your comments.

      • I never read what others have to say. I am always afraid it might make me rethink what came to my mind first. Maybe I should start reading before I answer…you gave me something to think about.

      • I’m so glad you told me about your prompt. I’ve never seen it before. Several of my favorites were already linked to in my today’s post so I think I’ll just use a fun former posting. Is this a weekly prompt? If so, I’ll add it to my bookmarks.

      • I started the “Knock knock writing challenge” because the daily prompt was having reruns only and I felt bored. I would like to write/read about different things…not just the same old question/answer game. I have so many ideas in my head…and I can remember them 🙂

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