Fun or no fun and does it have to change with age?

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Friendgiving was a great success, we all had a good time and like every year, I promised myself that I would never eat that much again. Our new neighbors stopped by and we instantly liked them. They have a teenage son and we clicked right from the start. My accent makes people curious and the question, “Where are you from?” is always an icebreaker and often the start of an interesting conversation.

The kid was fascinated when I told him part of my life story and we continued to talk for a while; talked about all the places he wants to see, when he will be an adult.

He thought I was cool and I smiled; haven’t heard that in a long time. Then, in the middle of our conversation, he looked at me and asked, “What do you do for fun now?”

Wow, I didn’t see that one coming and it took me by surprise. What do I do for fun? “All kind of stuff,” I said, mainly because I couldn’t come up with anything right away.

What do I do for fun? What do we do for fun? I asked myself that question over and over and I couldn’t come up with much and I don’t know what bothers me more; not really having an answer or the idea that I am older now and fun might just not be in the cards anymore.

Is that even true? Do we get older and decide not to have fun anymore, or is it just the definition of having fun, that changed?

We work, watch TV or watch a movie; we invite friends over, eat and drink. I enjoy all of it, I enjoy spending time with my husband and I love spending time with friends. I love to eat and I love a glass of wine or a piece of good chocolate…but that’s not the fun you have in mind when you ask “What do you do for fun?”

I love to laugh and smile often, but that has nothing to do with fun either, it’s that’s just part of my personality.

Did I just stop doing something for fun and if so, when did that happen? When I hit 50? Was that the magical number when my brain decided that I have to behave differently? Is fun only for the younger generations, or do we say that because we become lazy?

Screw that! I don’t want to be like my neighbor, who talks all day long about her diseases and her grandchildren; she comes up with all kind of excuses why she can’t do this or that and I feel sorry for her.

When I look around I see different kind of older people. I see active ones, who are still open minded about new things, who are still adventurous and I can see people like my neighbor, who sits in her recliner and waits for life to be over.

I miss my best friend, I  miss her dearly. She is gone since almost two years and it seems that lots of my spontaneity went with her. We had fun together; we were up for all kind of stuff and tried new things. We embarrassed ourselves and laughed so hard that we cried. We always had something planned. Maybe she was the driving force in my life and I in hers?

We have friends here in town, but all of our best friends live at least 2 or 3 hours away and we only see each other a few times a year. My husband works crazy hours and he enjoys his time off at home and I understand that. We do things together, but I miss the close female companionship.

I thought to myself that I have two choices now, either I accept the things the way they are or I grab the bull by its horn and do something against it. I would love to answer the question “What do you do for fun?” with a long list of things I actually do or plan on doing.

It’s up to me isn’t it? I decide what kind of older person I want to be. Alright I have some limitations these days. There are days when I feel like crap and there are days when I hurt, but you know what? Screw that too!

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It’s still up to me what I make out of my life. So yesterday I sat down and decided to write an ad that will go on our neighborhood webpage, where people in our area communicate with each other.

Here it goes:

It shouldn’t be so difficult to make new friends – when did this happen? It seems as I get older the friendships I have are changing and some have disappeared. Some moved away and some moved on, so maybe it’s time to meet new people and make new friends. 

For starters, I am a middle-aged, straight, happily married, white woman who absolutely doesn’t care about race, creed and sexual orientation. 

Let’s go to the hole in the wall ethnic places to eat and lets find the best pancakes in town. Check out some live music and jazz clubs. Find out where to get the best pizza, bagels, croissants, sushi  and margaritas.  (Can you tell that I love food?)

Let’s go to a theater play, have a picnic in a park, let’s hunt for treasures at the flea market or meet at 6 am in the morning and go to garage sales. Go to an observatory and look at the stars, check out thrift stores or visit antique markets. Go for a ride to catch a sunrise or a sunset or go hiking. How about a museum? When is the last time you were there? I love theater plays and the opera, I am interested in politics, history, different cultures and I love “real” people. However, I don’t need drama in my life, that’s why we have a TV. 

I like music and good movies. I can laugh hard and can cry my eyes out while watching Meryl Streep in “The Bridges of Madison County” (damn her).

There is hope, if you are still reading…I would prefer a female friend, but have no problem welcoming a gay man into my life and into my heart. I look for a PLATONIC friendship only.

I’m a very avid reader and am always looking for someone else, who is happy to sit somewhere with an alcoholic drink or a pot of tea who likes to read, exchange books or discuss a favorite author. I am a social drinker, don’t drink beer, don’t use tobacco, don’t do drugs but love a nice cocktail or a glass of wine.

I am not interested in someone who only wants to text and e-mail one or two lines all day long and never meet. Life is way too short to waste and the buttons on  my phone too small. I am intelligent and articulate and hope you are as well. Please have a sense of humor, a sense of wonder and the time to do something with a friend. I can pay my own way and hope you can as well.  

I am 50 but not dull. I work 5-6 days a week (I know, what’s wrong with me?) and really want to meet some folks who realize they are in a rut and want to open up their lives a bit to change via new people, new places, new restaurants, new thoughts. 

I’m laid back and easy going. I would like to find a good friend that I can laugh with, share secrets, thoughts and feelings or just hang out and be awesome together!

That’s a big step…now I am curious if someone will respond. I am not sure if that’s one of the dumbest things I have every done, or one of the bravest. I guess I will find out shortly. 🙂

That was fun~!

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26 thoughts on “Fun or no fun and does it have to change with age?

  1. It’s been a few days now and I hope you’ve had some response to your ad. If I lived in your town, I would answer your ad because I would like all those things too 🙂

  2. Great post! You are so right…never stop having fun! Age is just a number! Do whatever you are capable of and enjoy life. Maybe you could start a kind of social club for people like you that are wishing and hoping someone would do this so they could join and meet friends. I live in a retirement community and there are tons of things to do and meet people. There are well over 100 clubs of one kind or the other, so there is plenty to do . I spend most of my time line-dancing, playing cards or board games, movies, and there is an entertainment at the local town squares with a band playing and people dancing…line-dance, partner dancing, or just get out there and do you own thing.

    • I already have a long list of things I want to do. Some with my husband, some with new friends that I am going to meet. There is a webpage called “meet up” and I spent the last days looking through it. Wish I would have known about it sooner.

  3. I think perhaps you are right in that we ladies need at least one good female friend in our lives to have fun with. I have never been part of a big social circle (moved too many times) but I have been fortunate to have a ‘bestie’ with whom I have laughed until I cried and put the world to rights. Another move and I lost that contact. You have made me think about the fun in my life. Or lack of. But I’m not sure what IS fun any more. For me. Gosh that sounds sad and depressing. Blame it on the weather, I am never at my best during the winter…
    xx
    And good luck with the ad. It will be interesting to see what develops.

  4. Goo for you to look for something and someone new to connect with! I find spending time with younger people also helps to keep me “current” and in the loop of what’s going on. I agree the definition of fun has changed over the years- partying is no longer how I define fun, but going on Sunday day trips with my husband is. It is harder to connect with new friends as we get older, but every now and then I will meet someone who I really enjoy spending time with and we click. Let us know what happens!

  5. In the seventies or older, going to parties get less, so do marriages but funerals are thriving. A good funeral is as good an event as any, really. People get together and afterwards with a nice cucumber sandwich or even a drink to say farewell to the dearly depared, some new friendships are easily forged with the still living.
    The ‘Even-tide’ or ‘Heaven go Forward’ retirement villagse are full of lovely people, most are women whose husbands have long carked it, are only too willing to do a little dance around the floor if not a Lambada with a nice gent. ( NS,ND,NG.).

    • OK, I see you live in Ohio. I’m in Illinois…not far, but too far for a spontaneous girls’ night out! Perhaps we can be email/FB friends with the agreement to meet sometime soon! I’m 63 and just retired so I don’t have a fixed schedule and I love to go places! My email address is amoralegria652@gmail.com. Contact me any time!

      • Yes, I suppose Illinois is a little bit too far for a girls night out 🙂

        I appreciate your offer. I have friends, but many of them live a few hours away and meeting them always involves travel.

        I miss a good friend in town. I did write your email address down and will stay in contact.

        Thank you for the sweet offer.

  6. Pingback: Having Fun | Passion through Poetry

  7. Hi, your post has really touched me. It really put into words how I feel every day of my life. I am not yet fifty, but my husband is reserved and doesn’t socialize much, and we never seem to have any fun. I love going to parties, but never seem to have any to go to. My friend here in Sydney had a great party they attended last week for someone’s 50th birthday, but we are not in the social circle (also being foreigners doesn’t always help). We are having a party at work in two weeks time, so can look forward to that! I would have responded to your advert if I was nearby! I write on my blog to try keep myself sane. All the best x

    • Now I wish we would live closer, because I would kidnap you to a girls night out in a heart beat.

      I guess most of us need a good female friend close by, regardless how much we love our husband. I hope you will have a marvelous time at the upcoming party and I wish for you to make you new friends as well.

      • Thank you! I’ve just been asking my kids when last they had fun and what is fun for them? My daughter had fun at the park yesterday when a group of boys tried to prank the hairdresser at the corner shop (don’t ask!), and cycling is fun for my son. I’ve invited our one set of family friends for lunch today, so something to keep me busy!! Girls night out sounds great! Xx

  8. Love your ad! We moved 3 years ago 600 miles from friends and family and as my kids are “older” – tween and teen, it has been difficult for me to make friends. I don’t work so I don’t even have that as a social outlet. I have started volunteering and hoping to make connections that way. Good luck to you on your quest for fun!

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