Have a glass, screw something and bite into Jesus

There I was in my workshop, still trying to finish up everything on time, when I thought that listening to a Christmas movie might finally help me to find the Christmas spirit….somewhere. 

The TV is a noise maker in my workroom. I can listen to it and I can still focus on my work at the same time.

It seemed like a brilliant idea at first; I knew the movie and could whistle along, when they started to sing Christmas carols.

But it didn’t last long, my little Christmas bubble burst, when I listened to some of the advertisements during the commercial breaks.

The most brilliant gift ideas this year -they actually used the word cool– are:

A wine glass that can hold a whole bottle of wine.

A cordless screwdriver that looks like a gun.

A Jesus Toaster for (or by) the daily bread.

I stopped working and watched the commercial when it came on again.

You have to be kidding me. I don’t know what’s worse, the idea that somebody might actually buy the cool gifts or the fact that they must have made that much money, that they can afford daily, repeating commercials.

What is the perfect way to use these gifts? Drink a gigantic glass of wine first, then go around and scare the living crap out of an innocent person with your cordless screwdriver-gun and ask for forgiveness the next morning, when you bite into Jesus?

I thought I had seen it all…but far from it.

I hate to ask that question, but are people really buying these things? OK the wine glass can be a gag gift, but the screwdriver that looks like a gun, might not be a good idea, in a time where there are mass shootings everywhere.

But the worst and most tasteless gift ever, has to be the Jesus toaster. Who buys crap like that and who gets punished with a gift like that? This is just wrong on so many levels and I am not even religious.

Well, the TV is off in my workroom…screw that~!

Advertisements