“Do you mind, if I call you by your first name?” he asked, “No, I don’t mind” I answered, but I didn’t mean it. I still have a last name and it would be nice to occasionally hear it, especially when I talk to a stranger, who I will never meet in person. I felt bothered by the question.
“Do you mind…?” These three little words often make me feel uncomfortable. I have been raised to be polite and kind to others -and I am- but sometimes I feel that this question it’s used to take advantage of me and I don’t like that. The simple question, “Do you mind….” seems to bring the worst out of me lately. What has gotten into me?
“Do you mind if I call you by your first name?”
“Yes, I do mind,” I answered 30 days later, after we had just gotten another screwed up bill and there was silence on the other end.
It made me feel a little bit uneasy, and I was wondering what he was typing into his computer about me… BUT…he called me by my last name for the rest of the conversation and more importantly, we continued to talk on a more professional level and it took only half of the time, until he agreed to credit us the money back.
“Do you mind if we try to screw you over on a monthly base?” “Yes, I do mind, that’s why I am calling in the first place.” (That’s the real message; hidden in our polite and time wasting conversation).
Answering truthfully had felt good, but it also had left me feeling guilty. Gosh, what has menopause turned me into?
From there it got easier.
“Do you mind if I put you on hold?”
“Yes, I do mind,” I answered and once again there was silence on the other end.
“Excuse me,” she acted like she didn’t understand and I talked slowly when I repeated myself. “I…do…mind…if you put me in hold.” The tone in her voice changed, she was almost unfriendly when she continued talking to me. That made me laugh inside and I got my Southern charm out, called her Honey and Darlin’. I had a ball, not so sure if she felt the same way.
Why do people answer the phone, if the first thing they do is put me on hold? I am not the rude one…they are!
I enjoyed my new found freedom from the do-you-mind-lie until I checked out in the grocery store. I had between 8-12 items in my cart when the lady behind me, who carried just a loaf of bread, asked me:
“Do you mind if I cut in and check out real quickly?”
My normal response would have been, “Sure, go ahead,” while rolling my eyes inside. (They always pick me to cut the line. Why is that?) I was in a hurry and I had the dogs in the car. To make things worse, I had to go to the ladies room -quite urgently- so I decided to be truthful.
“Yes, I do mind Ma’am, I am in a hurry myself,” and that wasn’t a lie, because if I have to go…I have to go.
She looked at me in disbelieve, like I would be the rudest person on this planet. It made me feel like dirt, but I just smiled at her and continued to check out. A couple of minutes later I left the store and went back to my car.
What is wrong with me? What am I trying to proof to myself. Am I protesting against these small, little white lies? Why don’t I just continue to play the game and say, “No, I don’t mind,” and curse inside -like everybody else?
I was afraid that I would turn into a rude and crude person, until yesterday, when a gentleman asked me. “Do you mind…?”
I didn’t mind, I didn’t mind at all. I dropped everything I was doing and helped a stranger. I still love to help people out, I guess I just decided not to play games anymore, because sometimes I do mind.