“Open” and “Honest” go Hand in Hand

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OPEN and HONEST, these two words go hand in hand. You can not be honest without opening up, and you can’t be open without being honest. It’s not that easy, it takes some courage to be open and honest. You have to be prepared for destructive criticism.

I am always honest, I try to be, but it has its painful moments. It’s so hard to tell someone I don’t like what you do, or to fire somebody you actually care for.

I am not the most diplomatic person; I am exactly the way I am on my blog. Outspoken, somewhat intelligent, witty at times with a high tendency to sarcasm. I don’t like to hurt peoples feelings, but sometimes I have to and it’s hard.

I am having a truth-week this week, and it made me think about the scene in one of my favorite movies.

I close my eyes, and this image floats beside me.
A sweaty toothed mad man with a stare that pounds my brain.
His hands reach out and choke me, and all the time he’s mumbling.
“Truth, truth.”
Like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold.
You push it, stretch it, but it’ll never be enough.
You kick at it, beat it, it’ll never cover any of us.
From the moment we enter crying,
to the moment we leave dying,
it’ll just cover your face,
as you wail and cry and scream.”
(Dead Poets Society)

Yesterday I fired my helper. I didn’t fire him -not with these words- but I told him that I don’t want to work him anymore. Telling him the reasons behind my decision, that was the tough part, because I really liked his work. I hope he will learn from his mistakes, I hope he will grow as a human being.

I finally told a blogger that I decided to unfollow her blog. Why pretend that I LIKE something, if I really don’t. I had felt disconnected for so long. It’s the second time I had done this in the blogging world, both times made me feel uncomfortable at first, but then I felt relieved.

It’s like ripping of a band-aid, it stings at first, but then you feel great.

“Just don’t follow them anymore!” Yes, that would be the easy way out and I assume that this too is common law these days. But why? OPEN and HONEST go hand in hand. How can people grow and learn, if we don’t share with them the motive behind our decisions? The blogger and I had been communicating through comments back and forth for months, just leaving without a word, that just didn’t sound right.

The truth is hard to take.

“The truth is heavy,

that’s why so few choose to carry it.”

OPEN and HONEST, that’s what I chose in my life. We can still be kind and caring, we can still be generous and loving while telling the truth. It is possible!

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Open

 

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33 thoughts on ““Open” and “Honest” go Hand in Hand

  1. Such a simple phrase, but admirable, and as with a lot of truths deeper, perhaps, than it seems. I ran the Family Service Division for a large non-profit agency, and also worked as a clinical social worker, so that shapes my response as blunt can be hurtful in that kind of job. But I do believe one can craft honesty (and criticism) so it can be better heard, and more helpful to the person than harmful. I think truth lives in a context, and explaining that context does not hurt truth and may hurt the individual less. But, occasionally, as you point out, a quick clean end may be best for all. I do admire open and honest especially in a world of hedging! Not an easy choice, but a noble one! (i too love Dead Poet’s Society and came to your blog from adding a link to a post of mine on Carpe Diem…a little bit of synergy!) Thanks Bridgett for making me think! Jo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Many seem to be under impression that being honest means being mean or rude and that’s not it at all. It a choice of words -like always. Thank you for your comment, no I have something to think about as well.

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  2. Oh myy! That would have been a difficult one. Firing the helper and telling a blogger you gonna unfollow them :\ But then like you said isn’t it better than pretending to like something you do not :\ I admire your openness and honesty Lady Bug 🙂

    P.S.- I hope I can call you Lady Bug till you tell me your name 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “We can still be kind and caring, we can still be generous and loving while telling the truth. It is possible!” I agree, wholeheartedly. Integrity is not easy, but in the long run, it is kinder to everyone.

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  4. The older I get the more I just have to say the truth. I’ve also learned how to say “No”!
    Funny how this is your blog, share what you want, say how you feel and be the person you have grown to be. If someone doesn’t like it then tell them to go somewhere else. This is your space, your thoughts and feelings, this is your blog! Can you tell I’m on your side. 🙂

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  5. One of the Finest example, display, conveyance of Humanity that I have ever seen, Dead Poets Society.
    To Tine Own Self Be True,’ Shakespeare. Another fine thought. If only all human beings could live by this truth…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It’s a fine line between being honest and hurtful and sometimes I find it a hard one to walk. I have gotten too honest sometimes I think, telling people what I really think about them when maybe I shouldn’t but the flip side is I am also more open about saying the good out loud and not holding back a compliment. Great post my friend

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  7. Getting honest feedback is so hard these days. Believe it or not, I appreciate that you are willing to tell someone why you unfollowed them. You are so dead on right with this post, it is great. Hope lots of people read this! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      • I have observed that many creators hate the idea of criticism from the many blogs I read, but somewhere along the way it seems people forgot what the intent of criticism is. It’s to help us improve! If no one tells us we’re doing something wrong, how are we ever going to know to fix it?

        Granted taking criticism is hard and I still struggle with it, but after I get over that initial rejection feeling and accept what was said, I realize what the person was saying was correct.

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