The Silent Storm inside me

storm

The first time I saw the desert was a moment I will never forget. I had read and heard a lot about it, but nothing could have prepared me for the emotions that I felt when I saw the golden ocean with my own eyes.

I stood there for quite some time, once again in awe of nature. I looked at the Sahara Desert, and I felt a longing that didn’t make any sense at the time; I felt an uprising inside me that seemed to come out of nowhere.

And there’s silent storm inside me
Looking for a home
I hope that someone’s gonna find me
And say that I belong

I started running like a little kid; run and slid up and down the sand dunes until I couldn’t breathe anymore. I finally stopped, dropped down on the ground and just lay there in the warm sand. After a while, I got up, looked around, and I felt calm and happy.

The other travelers looked at me. I could see it in their faces, they didn’t understand and how could they? I couldn’t explain it either. Why would I, the farm girl, who was raised in the Austrian Alps, feel so overwhelmed by the endless desert? Why did I feel at home, at a place so far from home?

I had felt it all my life; there is a silent storm hidden inside me; it’s a longing that I could never explain.  A yearning to find the one place that would feel like coming home.

I carried the silent storm with me for a few more years, until I found where I belonged and it left me with a beautiful calmness.

 

Storm

 

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13 thoughts on “The Silent Storm inside me

  1. What a beautiful song. I love your description of seeing the desert “the golden ocean”. I have never left the place I grew up- lived in the same town my whole life just a few blocks from where I grew up my longing now is for something new, unfamiliar.

    • I adore the song, play it often. You have this beautiful, large family and so much support. You have been home all along.

      If you have longing now…follow it. Plan a nice vacation with your husband. Go and see what you long to see and don’t hesitate emailing me if I can be of any assistance planing an unforgettable trip.

      • You are so sweet- I traveled every summer when I was in my 20’s and 30’s, now we enjoy just a one night stay somewhere and then back to the comforts of home. I have always been a “home body” but feel I might want to live in a new town, with new roads and parks to discover-who knows? 🙂

  2. This makes me think of past lives or some soul connection that can’t be explained by our ordinary corporeal lives. I felt that the first time I saw the Tetons – I burst into tears, the feeling of coming home powerful beyond words.

  3. In your stories, there is always at least one line that really stands out and talks to me.
    In this one it was “there is a silent storm hidden inside me; it’s a longing that I could never explain”.
    All I can say is “yup”.

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