The Sock Discrimination and Other Crimes!

Missing socks squad.

Something is going on in our house, and it’s just not right. Socks are disappearing left and right, and I would be okay with it -we all know they vanish into thin air- but I don’t like how it all goes down.

It all happens in the laundry room. Two socks go into the laundry basket -we are most certain of that- what means two socks go into the washer. Then, after an hour or two, we put the socks into the dryer, at this point we can’t guarantee if the second sock is still around, but we know for sure that only one sock comes out of the dryer. It’s a mystery that many have tried to solve. I will not even go there.

So we know where the crime happens and we all are fine with it. We accept it, it’s like we pay a “sock fee” to keep the laundry equipment happy.


What’s not so fine is the fact that it’s mostly my socks. I would guess around 80% of the vanishing socks are mine and only 20% belong to my husband.

That’s discrimination. Also, it’s always the new and funny socks that disappear, never the old ones that I want to throw out anyway.

Just last week I bought two pairs of fuzzy, little sleeping socks. They are great in the evenings when we watch TV. They match perfectly with my lounge pants, one pair is black, the other pair is pink, and I love them both so much. They are intelligent socks, they have little tiny sticky things on the bottom, to make sure that I don’t end up on my behind on my way to the fridge.

I promised to cherish them forever and then, just 1 week later, one of the black socks was gone. Poof, vanished into thin air.

Again, all my husband’s socks survived the laundry, but not mine. I get it, my husband’s socks are rather boring, he wears white or dark socks and has numerous pairs in the same style. One goes missing, he pairs it up with the next missing sock -there is never any drama involved. He seems to have things under control.

Me? Not so much. It’s the fun socks that disappear, the ones that I love, that’s why I am so upset.

I really think that taking only my socks is a form of discrimination, don’t you think? Equal sock rights for everybody!

And what’s up with selling us a pairs of socks anyway, what kind of logic is that? We all know that sock crimes will be committed, haven’t we learned a thing?

How about selling 3 socks as a unit. This way we would still have two left when one disappears. I like the idea, now I just have to make sure the public knows about it as well. There is a market for it!

Maybe I will start a SOCK PETITION?







12 thoughts on “The Sock Discrimination and Other Crimes!

  1. My socks also vanish … almost all the time they go to the laundry… but they also grow holes . So my toes are often exposed because of the holes. Are they rebelling ? Are they going crazy? It’s a constant struggle . I always ask for new socks for my birthday and Christmas. Cannot help it… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m afraid I’m going to jinx myself again, but I will cautiously claim I rarely lose socks. Maybe it’s because I don’t put socks in the dryer. They get matched out of the washing machine and hung in pairs to dry in the laundry room on this hanger I got at the Dollar Store years and years ago. The hanger has ‘spokes’ that hold from 18 to 24 pairs of socks (I have hangers of 2 different sizes).
    Not only do I never lose socks, I never shrink them either.

    …. and I really, really hope I haven’t invoked the attention of the evil laundry gods ….

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Looks like you have an advanced version of the sock monster. They can now choose the colours and formations. My sock monster was not so particular. I had three men (two sons and a husband), I also had socks but only now and again. A weekly sock wash meant approximately 50 socks on average in the machine, but often 2 or 3 socks would disappear. An additional problem was about 40% of the socks were the same colour without patterns. We had many discussions at home. Our solution was a pile of socks in a central place where Mr. Swiss would sort them, as he seemed to be the source of most of the complaints. The situation improved, although there are still isolated cases of sock refugees. Keep me in informed on the situation. This is developing into a major problem for sock wearers everywhere.

    Liked by 1 person

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