When Your Loved one Voted the Other Way!

A very good friend of mine lives in the South -that’s where we met years ago- and I know as a fact that she voted and believes in Donald Trump. She is a diehard conservative, and over the years we were able to block it out. We didn’t talk about politics at all, it was the elephant in the room, that we never mentioned. 

Of course, she is the one who doesn’t have a clue because I know it all better and needless to say, she believes just the opposite. We both voted wrong in the eyes of the other.

We talked the last time in November, right before the election, after that we texted a few times, but avoided contact. The time before Christmas is always very hectic in my line of work, that helped me to come up with polite excuses. She was busy as well.

How can we be friends, if our beliefs are so contrary?

She owns a few guns and believes we all should have as many weapons as we want to have, while I would love to see a strict gun control in place. She thinks Trump is the answer to all our problems, while I think he will be a disaster.

I have gay friends, I believe in religious freedom and I would love to welcome more refugees, while she would volunteer to build a wall tomorrow. Interesting enough, we became friends and have stayed friends over many years.

I am the foreigner, the first generation immigrant who has traveled the world -maybe seen too much- while my friend has never left her hometown in the South.

Somehow our friendship worked, we have many other things in common.

I watched this video with mixed emotions. I had to laugh when I saw the young woman sitting on the couch rolling here eyes. I have the same facial impression when I listen to people talk about Trump right now. I cannot understand where they are coming from, I cannot comprehend why anybody would vote for him. However, the other side feels the same about me, the don’t understand why I voted for Clinton.

I am not extreme in any form or way, but my behavior right now is, and that’s not me.

I believe in religious freedom and the freedom of speech. I don’t want to fight, but I will fight for the right cause. I don’t want to hate, but I dislike everybody who does. ‘Be better than the other side – reach out.’ I can almost hear the voice in my head, and I wonder about it. Did my Catholic upbringing leave marks after all?

I love diversity, yet right now I cannot stand it. I feel offended that I have to deal with Trump and his supporters. I take it personally -isn’t that insane?

It’s so easy to tell the “other side” that they are wrong all the way. Lately, it seems our Freedom of speech gives us the right to offend. No, it does not. Neither one of us has the right to hurt the other side, we should always respect each others opinion in a civil manner.

We can be critical, but we should never insult a person for their beliefs.

I will call my friend later on and will acknowledge the fact that we are different because after all that’s what I stand for. Perhaps we can talk about our differences and find some middle ground for the future of our friendship.

I don’t have to understand it all, I just have to accept it. Mutual respect of our different opinions, that’s important.

Not only does having friends with different outlooks on life enrich you, but it adds value to society as a whole. Promoting friendships between liberals and conservatives, the authors noted, benefits society by increasing “intergroup interactions” which can help people find common ground, rather than simply bleat their positions from opposite corners.

That’s one reason why I’ll maintain the relationships I have with my conservative friends; not because I believe I can change them, but because we provide each other with an alternative portal through which to view certain issues.

(Source: 2011 Boston College study (Can Friendships Be Partisan?)

Time to call!

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27 thoughts on “When Your Loved one Voted the Other Way!

  1. My BFF, who was coincidentally also raised Catholic, has been my polar opposite, politically and in other ways, for as long as we have know each other. However, during this time, we have both also shared some common experiences and, more importantly, been able to listen and at least attempt to understand the other’s viewpoints. We have, clearly, respectfully and openly, agreed to disagree. I hope you and your conservative friend can do the same. In the end, I believe, it will come down to what you each value most from your friendship which will determine what you can consciously overlook in order to continue it.

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  2. I struggle with understanding anyone who could think this man is not dangerous. My feelings about the people I knew well or relatives that think he is great- well my opinion of them has been lowered I am sorry to say. He is an unethical, narcissist and worse, and I question how anyone with a moral compass could think he is qualified to be our President. Just sayin’

    Liked by 1 person

    • Interesting, I feel the same way. It’s like I lost respect. I feel like we all have been thrown under the bus.

      The conversation with my friend didn’t go well at all. It felt like walking on eggshells, it felt forced.

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  3. I have at least three relatives whom I’m fairly certain voted for Drumpf. One I don’t have a good relationship with anyway, and it has nothing to do with his politics. The other two, well… I know why they voted the way they did. I understand their reasoning. I cannot hold it against them because they did what they felt in their hearts was the “right” thing to do. I don’t “blame” them for anything because they don’t feel as though they did anything wrong. Just as I don’t blame any of my friends or relatives who voted for third party candidates — they voted for who they felt would do the job right. We cannot say on one hand that we did the right thing by voting our conscience then turn around and say they are what’s wrong with the system because they voted theirs. That’s just hypocritical.

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  4. I am married to someone who voted for Trump and was willing to ignore all the bad about him because, in her mind, the Clintons were worse. We can not talk politics nor anything tangentially related. We have had several very strained evenings lately.

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    • You love your wife and you fell in love with her for who she is and not who she votes for. Having that said, I think you guys are smart not to talk about it.
      Hang in there Emilio and you can always bitch, whine, cry and laugh on your blog.

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  5. You are a better person than I am, Bridget … because I can’t and I couldn’t.

    If I had a friend whose values were so diametrically opposed to mine – and the topic of guns would be a HUGE one – I don’t think we could be friends anymore. Whatever we had in common would pale beside the fundamental values that are out of synch.

    Good luck with the conversation you are yet to have with your friend. I hope it works out well for you.

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  6. I can’t say any better. I need to accept it, but I am having difficulty doing so. I pray for strength for myself and the world. I even got into a political discussion which I don’t do. You can’t change a person beliefs. Think Positive!

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  7. It is so hard, Bridget. I couldn’t even watch the whole video clip. Help me! It’s like someone is telling me it’s fun to drown puppies. I just can’t keep my mouth shut. Good for you for making the effort. I’m just not there yet. I have to not talk about it with delusional friends or we wouldn’t be friends. ACK!

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  8. I have really appreciated this post. Well written. Even if I am Italian, I believe that what happens in the USA affects the whole world. Globalization is a matter of fact, it is not unreal or virtual. I really hope these 4 years will literally fly away and won’t affect our world too much

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  9. You’re stronger than I am (a given). My anger has so overwhelmed me that at times I can’t function. You said you took this situation personally and asked if we thought that was insane? It’s NOT. This particular election has divided America on a new level – forget religion or race, this is about fundamental (perhaps a bad choice of words) ETHICS (to me anyway). I have deliberately cut off contact with former friends and even family that voted for that freak. I will NEVER support him and I’ll be proud to be counted among those who have stood up and said “this was NOT OKAY”. A family member told me to “get over it, your side lost and freak is your President now, if you like it or not.” Made me so angry I almost ruined Christmas by gathering my stuff and preparing to leave the festivities (who discusses such differences ON Christmas, my sibling is a moron IMHO). I said “No! Freak might be YOUR president, he’ll never be mine. I’ll never acknowledge him as anything other than a freak who happened to get lucky.” So Ladybug, you’re certainly not alone. And Cheeto has accomplished one thing anyway – he’s finally split America in two. What a sterling goal!

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    • I have no idea how the conversation with my friend will go. It will very much depend on the way we will talk to each other. If she will act like your sibling on Christmas I will fly of the handle 🙂

      He is not my President either, however he is the President of the United States and there is nothing I can do. I will be on the right side of history and will never deny who I am and what I stand for.
      My Grandmother, the wise woman I like to write about said once and I quote: “You will lose your head one day if you don’t watch out what you say.”
      I fear she is right 🙂

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