I shall become a Chief Surgeon

chief-surgeon

Today I decided I will switch careers and become a chief surgeon. 

I will have to add some alternative facts and made up pieces of information to my resume, but after that, I should be good to go. I have talent, I can cut a piece of fabric into any shape known to man. How much more difficult can it be to cut into a human being?

And sewing, I mean don’t get me started. I can sew a zipper in anything; I am a master of my craft. It can’t be that much more complicated in an operating room, though I  might have to let go of the zippers.

My future looks bright. Bye-bye furniture, bye-bye little workroom; I am ready to make some big bucks. I will get a nice white coat and a fine office, perhaps even a secretary or two.

Once hired, I should be safe. I won’t be alone during surgeries and my colleagues and the nurses will be there to step in and cover for me anytime. Afterward, I will deny everything and nobody will ever know that I don’t have a clue.

As for the patients, they won’t notice a thing -they don’t have a say in it. They will be deep asleep, and most of them can’t afford to pay the hospital bill anyway. What do they have to lose? What do I care?

Don’t blame me, I just go with the flow. People without any knowledge, experience or qualification are being voted into the highest positions. I am just following the trend; I want to be one of them.

This is my satirical take on the confirmation of Betsy DeVos. If a Billionaire, who has never set foot in a public school can be our education secretary, then I should be okay as a chief surgeon. At least I have been in a hospital once or twice. What do you think?

betsy-devos


My sincere apologies to all the Chief surgeons and surgeons out there. You do a terrific job!

 

 

 

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29 thoughts on “I shall become a Chief Surgeon

  1. I got a bizarre image of a zipped belly while reading that…. and swiftly moving on. I’m a teacher (was), so I guess I could apply for the job of billionaire, given we’re paid so much! Thanks for the chuckle!

    Like

  2. You being Chief Surgeon actually makes more sense … at least you have some experience with putting things back together so that they actually work afterwards :/
    This is a horrible nightmare. The damage she is going to do to the school system may just be irreparable. “For Profit” schooling? … we know what the outcome of that will be.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Unbelievable. Great post, Bridget, but it makes me depressed. I’m going to become Donald Trump. After all, I spend lots of time in my fantasy world messing up things for my characters. I kill off a lot of them too. They live in primitive conditions and have very little say in their futures. Oh, but the best part, is that I no longer have to pay any taxes. I can lie as much as I want in order to get my way and if things go wrong, I can just blame Obama!!! This sounds great.

    Liked by 1 person

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