The Nagging Wife

nagging

About two weeks ago my husband came home and complained about chest pain. I dropped everything and wanted to go to the emergency room with him right away, but he decided against it. It only lasted for about 2 or 3 minutes, then he was fine.

CHEST PAIN  I fear that word like the devil the holy water. I know my husband has stress at work and we both are in an age where things can happen. Later that night he confessed that he had been feeling chest pain for a few month now -six months to be exact- and I almost lost it.

He said it comes and goes, mostly when he works physical and it never lasts for more than a few minutes. I just looked at him in absolute disbelieve. I am the hermit crab in our family, I am the one who doesn’t talk when she is not feeling well, my husband is supposed to be the crybaby. Not this time.

We almost had an argument, but how can one argue with a guy that complains about chest pain. He said it pretty much started after he gave smoking, what doesn’t make any sense at all. Generally, people feel healthier when they kick the cigarettes to the curb.

I insisted that he made a doctor’s appointment right away, pestered him like only a women can annoy, and succeeded because he got tired of listening to me.

A few days later we went to the medical center. His doctor looked at him and me and said, and I quote: “Well, he hasn’t died the last six months, that’s good news.”

I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry, just shook my head and tried not to smack both of them. We were at the doctor’s office for over an hour. He is an excellent physician, takes his time and goes to the bottom of things. My husbands EKG in resting position was good.

Turns out my husband quit taking his OTC acid reflux medication about two years ago when they raised the price. Last year he quit smoking, gained weight, and he felt more under stress without his cigarette breaks.

Now, a few tests later, we know his heartburn had turned into a “silent acid reflux” what caused him to feel chest pain, mostly shortly after he ate. The extra weight and the stress gave him symptoms nobody would expect. He is back on medication, and the chest pain has disappeared.

Before we left the office, my husband made a remark, something like, “Now, tell her to stop worrying, she was nagging me until I made an appointment, ” and I said something like, “Please, explain to him he is not Superman.”

The doctor smiled, called us a CUTE COUPLE.

Then he looked at my husband and told him how lucky he was. Very sincere he said, “Men with wives who care about them live longer. What you call nagging is their way of showing you how much they love you and how much they care.”

It left me speechless and brought tears to my eyes.

Later I wondered,  when did I become the nagging wife? Did it happen slowly when he got older, and his health started to worry me? Is that just the usual development in a marriage that lasts that long?

I can still see myself being the young wife, who vowed to herself she would never be one of “those” wives.  You know, the ones who push their husbands to do things.”Nagging” what a word.

I am a nagging woman, that’s a tough one to swallow. I can picture us in 10 years from now. I will chase him with his medicine bottles and will make sure he doesn’t eat what could harm him.

Nobody prepared me for that, but I guess if it means to keep him healthy I will take the title of “The nagging woman.”

Love does come in many forms I suppose.

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24 thoughts on “The Nagging Wife

  1. Connie is a nagging wife too, so you’re not alone. Last year she convinced our grown children that their dad had one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. I saw numerous doctors and suffered through multiple tests just to prove there was nothing wrong with me. Then, a nurse at the ENT clinic poured phenol in my right ear and burned a whole in my ear drum. Four months later, they tried to repair it with a graft, which didn’t take. I’ll have to have another surgery later this year as a result. All of this because of doctor appointments that I didn’t need.

    I realize she did it out of love, and I appreciate that. I only wish she was that worried about her own health.

  2. We had a similar experience last year- my husband had chest pains, but I figured it was reflux as he had it before. He went to a cardiologist and checked out fine. I am a nagger and reminder of when he should go to the Dr. and I never let up. Last year I actually went to the appointment because I wanted to talk to the Dr directly- he asked me if I was a nurse because I was speaking using medical terms- and then told my husband he was lucky to have a wife so up on his health. I always say I do it for selfish reasons- I want him around forever. 🙂

    • I am very happy and feel relieved, knowing that I am not the only one who pushes her husband to doctors appointments.
      I feel better now. I am grateful you all shared your own experience with me.
      I am glad you husband is alright.

  3. I’m so glad this one had a happy ending … especially since this week I had received news of another cohort from my hometown dying suddenly. As is usually the case, the warning signs had been there for a while and ignored.

    I don’t think of it as ‘nagging’. I found a definition that describes my interpretation well … “to annoy by persistent faultfinding, complaints, or demands”.
    I like the doctor’s description much better. I think he nailed it and your husband is a very lucky man to have the full extent of your caring ❤

  4. I’m so glad there was a not-scary explanation. You definitely did the right thing. I have become my husband’s health monitor too, as he will do anything rather than go to the doctor, and it is some balancing act.

  5. I am so pleased that your hubby is Ok Bridget.. and I get called nagging at times too.. But when you have a man who is stubborn about going to the Drs, we have to keep pushing them to get themselves checked out..
    My hubby almost died in 2009 with an internal bleed from a burst ulcer.. When I finally got him to the Drs he collapsed in his office and was rushed to emergency care.. If it hadnt been for one brilliant woman Dr at the hospital and our GPs quick diagnosis and his speedy putting him through the hospital channels.. He would not be here today..
    So Keep Nagging.. xxxx

    Love ya.. Sue xxx

    • Goodness Sue, I can just imagine how scared you must have been. I am so glad your husband is alright. It looks like I am not the only one who is nagging and pushing her husband to be healthier.

      Love, Bridget

      • 🙂 no..if I hadn’t drove him to the Drs when I did.. He would have collapsed at home.. Then the ambulance would have taken longer.. The A and E would have taken more time to see what was wrong.. Thanks to our Brilliant Dr at that time.. And taking my hubbys bleed symptons low BP and then him just passing out.. He knew straight away what it was.. So was able to phone Paramedics and book him straight into Hospital.. When you look back.. Everything is timed… even down to the young Female Dr who was going to go off shift but stayed who performed the emergency procedure. They say Cats have 9 lives.. this was one of them.. 🙂 So Keep on nagging and follow your instincts Bridget… Much Love back.. ❤

  6. I love the way the doctor reframed your “nagging” into “love.” A wise man. What a scare and I’m glad it wasn’t anything more serious. I nag too, Bridget. I want my husband to stay around as long as he can. It’s love. ❤

  7. Chest pains should never be ignored! I am not a nagging wife either but when my hubby got that dreaded pain I took him straight to the emergency room – one double bypass later he is fine! So glad all’s well with yours.

  8. What you are going through is what all married women go through. And since we men are all, still and always, little boys, your nagging is simply an extension of the mothering instinct. At least, that’s what my nagging wife tells me. 😀

  9. At least yours listened to you. I’ve been nagging mine to go to the doctor and he won’t. And when he DOES for his yearly checkup, he tells the doctor that everything is fine. If the tests come out “normal” he doesn’t see a reason to worry about it. >_<

    But in the end, your nagging at least brought you both peace of mind. So there's that.

  10. “Men with wives who care about them live longer. What you call nagging is their way of showing you how much they love you and how much they care.”
    Awwwwww. So nice. I am so glad it is just heartburn and of course you were completely right to insist he be evaluated.

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