I am so excited! Coal is coming back. I am not sure when and exactly how, but we here in the U.S. decided to go back to basics -whatever that means. Screw the alternative energy, that’s horse-hockey. We don’t need windmills or solar panels, we need good, old coal for something -not sure what.
I can’t wait to shovel coal. I saw it once in a movie, and it looked like so much fun. The women carried coal in metal buckets. Imagine that! No more gym, no more weightlifting ladies; we are going to transport coal buckets back and forth. How is that for a six-pack?
All the stupid regulations that left us all way too healthy. Hallelujah! We got rid of them. Clean drinking water! That’s no fun, where is the challenge in that?
Clean energy! “Humbug,” I say. We are no sissies here in the USA, we can manage poisoned water and polluted air just fine. If it doesn’t kill you right away, it will kill you slowly, there you go. “No risk, no fun.”
This will be great, we will be even greater. “Screw you world,” we put America first. Not sure in what, but we will be first.
While we are at it. Can we get rid of these stupid CD’s and bring back the good, old-fashioned vinyl records, record players, and tape recorders? No more online tunes; let’s make the music industry great again. Get the people back to work.
Now I am all fired up. Rotary phones! Lets’ bring them back as well. Somewhere out there are people who made these phones -and if we are lucky, they are still alive. We can’t ask them to change, that would be rude, we need to bend over backward (or jump backward) and let them have their old jobs. Bye-bye cell phones!
I am having so much fun; it’s like stepping right into an old black and white movie.
And now I have to go and surf the internet for water filters, breathing masks and an old stove, for all the coal I will be hauling into our basement.
“$%&@…we don’t have a basement.”
Well, isn’t that great, now we will have to move. It’s all so exciting?