Getting a Gun

Image result for old gun

“I am going to buy a gun,” my husband said and I didn’t respond, just gave him the unapproving look only females can come up with.

“I am not kidding,” he said and continued to watch TV.

(Goodness, do I have to pull every word out of him?)

“We have 250 pounds of dogs in the house, we don’t need a gun.” I finally replied and looked proudly at our dogs.

“Besides that, I have a baseball bat in my workroom,” I added and looked at him more confident than I felt.

“I don’t care,” he informed me. “I am going to get a gun.”

(Great…fight on.)

“We don’t like guns, just in case you don’t remember,” I managed to say as calmly as possible, and he interrupted me right away.

“I changed my mind, now we need one.”

(Heavens give me strength I thought to myself.)

“I can’t sleep! Every morning he wakes me up. That’s it, I am going to shoot him.”


“The bird; the one you complained about last year,” he reminded me.

(Ahhhhh, smiling inside -not showing it.)

“By the way, it doesn’t live in the tree as you said it would. It sits in front of my window EVERY MORNING.”

(Chuckling inside -still not showing it. I know exactly what he is talking about.)

“Nah, he lives in the tree in front of my window,” I insist, just because I believe that to be true.

-We sleep in separate bedrooms, due to my husbands snoring-

“He is loud isn’t he?” I asked, not that I needed an answer. I have fantasies about buying a slingshot and night goggles myself.

“I wonder what kind of bird it is?” I asked my better half.

“It’s the dead kind,” my husband replied, and I busted laughing.

One day I am going to write a book, and we will end up being the major characters in a soap opera.

I love this time of the year. It’s beautiful and warm during the day and cooler in the night. The windows are open, and we enjoy the fresh, crisp air until Mr. Bird starts singing at 4:00 am every morning.

Life writes the best stories!

Image result for birds chirping at night


20 thoughts on “Getting a Gun

  1. Ah sleep… our bedroom has secondary glazing, so birds and aeroplanes don’t wake me, but anything in the house or room does, so I am a night wanderer. I fetch up in various other beds so as not to wake husband, and then I do hear the birds… but I rather like that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • “Night wanderer” that’s the perfect phrase.

      My husband snores so bad -always has. He has kept me up and for many years. I walked around in the house in the middle of the night, fell alsleep on sofas, chairs or curled up in the guestroom in later years, when we had one.

      I hear everything. The dog coughs, I hear it. A car alarm goes off far away, I am up and his snoring drove me bonkers.

      He often gets up at 3 or 4 a.m. for his job and I could never go back to sleep. It got better since we sleep in separated rooms. There are nights when I actually sleep through.


  2. Oh so loved this… I laughed out loud and read it to hubby too.. He is smiling.. 🙂 We used to live where a tree was full of crows in a morning.. Now they would wake the dead..
    Big Smiles..


  3. Great story (don’t get the gun). Speaking of birds, a rather handsome pigeon has taken up residence in our garage for the last few days. He is wearing a ring and doesn’t want to leave. We have fed and watered him, but really we are at a loss. We allow him out each morning and when he has enjoyed himself for long enough he goes back inside. We know he would not survive in the wild but we didn’t plan to have a bird. None of the animal agencies are interested unless we catch him, but he is very shy of us. Don’t shoot your bird, he is a gift.


    • I have a hard time sleeping through the night since I hit menopause and that bird is not helping at all. I have two feral cats in my workroom during the wintertime, they disappear in spring or just refuse to do their job.


  4. Pingback: Getting A Gun – The Militant Negro™

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