We love them so much, and then a health scare comes along and reminds us that nothing lasts forever. The realization that one day, what we have and hold so dear to our heart could be taken away from us, takes our breath away. He is my husband, my partner, the love of my life, the nail to my coffin, my best friend and he is getting older right beside me. There are a few years between us -five to be exact- and I can see it in his eyes, aging is not easy for him.
We always talk about women, we make fun about menopause, and we address all the problems that come with it, but we hardly talk about what aging does to a man.
I am not gentle when it comes to our age. I make relentless fun of it every chance I get and I might have to rethink my approach. Perhaps I should wear my gentle gloves now and then and pamper my knight in shining armor?
Last night I looked at him when he was dozing off sitting in his chair and with his eyes closed, I could see the age in his face. My Superman is getting older. His hair is now silver-white and his receding hairline has made more room for his beautiful face. It’s getting light on top of his head, something that we don’t mention at all.
“I don’t have the strengths anymore that I use to have,” he just said the other day and I could see that admitting it hurt him a bit. Raised to be a provider and protector, fading strengths must be hard on a man.
Just a few month ago I watched him when he mowed the lawn, and I could sense that he needed a break. I stepped in, declared yard work a workout routine and “made” him go inside so I could enjoy myself. I too start to feel physical limitations, and I don’t like it either.
The aging process has been kind to me so far, but there are definite signs that I cannot deny. An extensive list of foods that I can’t eat anymore is taped on the inside of a cabinet, just in case, I might forget. Another cabinet holds all the medication for high blood pressure and cholesterol, that the love of my life has to take now.
Some new vitamins and supplements have found their way into our cupboards. Many of them will stay there and will be forgotten -out of sight, out of mind.
I have never heard men talk about age and aging the way we women do. I am not sure if they ever talk about it in the first place. I know my husband has worries, just like I do and I wish he would talk about it as openly as I have here on my blog and with my female friends.
Perhaps I will have to learn to listen to what is unsaid.
The good news is we are aging together. We are still having fun and enjoy life and I hope it will stay like that for a very long time.