Victim or Perpetrator?

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Bill Cosby’s verdict left me wanting to spit fire like a dragon, preferably in his direction. Reading that he is touring to advocate people on the sexual assault law made me physically ill.

I am not a juror in a trial. I am not bound to look at ONLY one incident; I can -and will- look at the bigger picture.

Bill Cosby was saved by the statute of limitation, it worked -like so often in this cases- in his favor. 40+ women were forced to stand on the sideline, while only one could meet him in court.

The outcome of the trial was a slap in women’s face. By now we are used to it, but it still hurts. The trial confirms what so many women all over the world are thinking. “There is no point in reporting rape.” If you are not bleeding or have been beaten, and have the bruises to show, don’t waste your time, deal with it quietly and try to go on with your life.

The system once again protected a rapist, and, as so often, the victim was on trial,  not her offender.

Someone said Bill Cosby walked because he is black, but we all know that’s not the case. It wasn’t about color, it was about wealth, power, and gender. It was a “He said- She said” trail. Rape often happens behind closed doors and stays hidden. There are no witnesses. The goal in a trial like this is to discredit the victim. Before you know it, it’s about HER character, not HIS action.

Why haven’t the women spoken up earlier?

Not an easy question to answer. I suppose this can only be answered by a woman who experienced something similar. Working and traveling for so many years, I had my share of sexual harassment and questionable offers but, gratefully, nothing as severe as rape ever happened. I never talked about it, I never mentioned it -I dealt with it alone.

Back then many still said, “She is asking for it,” when they saw a young girl or a young woman who used makeup or dressed up nicely. Tight jeans, or a short skirt, that meant asking for it.

“Women cry rape for attention and for money because successful, wealthy gentlemen will never sexual assault or rape a woman.” That’s a belief many have to this day. The opposite is the truth. Too often it is the boss, the supervisor, the one in charge who abuses his power.

Bill Cosby is touring as an advocate for the sexual assault laws. This has to be a joke. Once a comedian, always a comedian!

“This is outrageous,” said Kristen Houser, spokesperson for the National Sexual Violence Resource Center. “There are literally hundreds of organizations in this country with expertise in sexual assault and promoting healthy and respectful sexual relationships,” she said. “Those are the people who should be doing education, not a man who has 60 public sexual assault allegations against him.”


40+ women didn’t come forward because each one of them was alone when it happened. They didn’t know it had happened to others, they didn’t know there were others that had been taken advantage off in the same sleazy, dirty way.

40+ women didn’t lie or make up stories to harm the old rat, they spoke up when they knew they weren’t alone anymore. It’s as simple as that.

I loved the character Bill Cosby played, fell in love with Clive Huxtable the moment I watched the show for the first time, even enjoyed the reruns up to the moment when all the women started to speak up.  It was not just one woman or a few, it was not just a handful of incidents spread over a few decades that one could dismiss -as we do so often.

40+ women. Different ages, different backgrounds, different heritage -and all of them have the same story. I can’t ignore that number, nobody should.

Mr. Cosby wasn’t on trial because he was black; he was on trial for his actions, it’s as simple as that. He did not get the verdict he deserved. Instead, he walked away as a free man.

Will his legacy be restored?


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13 thoughts on “Victim or Perpetrator?

  1. Even in 2017, a woman has to weigh the risks of reporting, and this case just goes to prove it. How could there be any question of his guilt? He admitted to drugging women to get them to have sex with him. That’s not consensual!!! Hello? Makes me so mad, Bridget. People with money and power benefit from a whole different judicial system in this country, and the wealthy can easily intimidate average citizens with costly lawsuits, smear campaigns, and lies we haven’t the means to defend ourselves against. I know – I’ve been there. It’s a travesty.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Bill Cosby: New Advocate For Sexual Assault Laws. – The Militant Negro™

  3. That he walked away (and I don’t know the verdict, I refuse to acknowledge the ‘news’ of any subject, it’s just too depressing for me) tells a lot about what his position and power (and money) did for him. Did he win? Not in my opinion. And those women ARE in part at fault. Not because that terrible crime happened to them, but because they lacked the stones to report it at the time. Not that it would have meant a thing because undoubtedly they would have been ridiculed and ignored just like you said; but because now there would be a RECORD of what he did. I’m in a long-standing battle of a different kind with the town in which I reside and a wealthy business owner who thinks the rules don’t apply to him (like Cosby). It’s stretching into its third year, but there is a paper trail and incident reports with the police here that documents every single time that businessman pulls another shady trick. I’m going to make sure HE pays or fixes the problem; or die trying. That’s what’s lacking in the Bill Cosby trial. Nobody dared to stand up AT THE TIME and say he’s a rapist. Or bite down hard on the offending piece of flesh and leave some physical evidence that would have been hard to ignore, however corrupt the police or studio handlers were. At this point to me anyway, it’s a waste of freakin’ time. Cosby is old and is going to die soon probably. He didn’t lose a damn thing except his reputation and maybe for him that’s a huge price to pay.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mistrial declare – Hung jury! That was the outcome of the trial. Not a verdict, but in my book it is.

      I can’t judge these women, I haven’t walked in their shoes. 20 – 30 years ago, things were different. There as no HR department that would back you up -please, don’t forget that.

      Being drugged on top of it doesn’t make it any easier. How can one proof that it was against their will?

      Careers were at stake, family had to be protected. I can find many reason why the women chose to be quiet. Public humiliation has a lot to do with it. How do you fight a rich person? How do you match his lawyers?

      Losing his reputation must hurt, his life’s work went down the drain and it is so well deserved.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I was attacked in about 1981 (or 2 – I’ve largely blocked it) and still went to the cops. Didn’t do any good, nobody was ever caught and yeah there were the looks of skepticism and disbelief. Questions that made me cringe, because probably I was at fault (to some degree), out walking after 10 pm (geezus it was Salt Lake City in 1981. The worst crime you heard about was maybe some kids stealing or something OR I was really naive ((I was)) wearing “questionable clothing” (I was wearing shorts and a tank top, it was summer. Should I have been out there? I was 21, why not? I’ve never been sorry I spoke up though. And yeah it could have been worse and nobody was relying on me for food or clothing or an income like some of those women in the Cosby case. But think of the difference if even one had come forward then and said what happened. Maybe others wouldn’t have been attacked too. Me? I’m angriest because Cosby was always presented as a ‘good clean moral man’. I don’t trust my own perceptions because of him and those like him. It’s sad.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I am very sorry that happened to you.

          Bill Cosby is just like all priests who abused little boys. They are in a power position and people trust them, look up to them.
          Nothing is wrong with your perception, they are the ones who are wrong.


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