Suicide – Parts Unknown

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I remember Paul so well. He was such a fun guy, a goofball, who made others laugh. He was a kind soul, but had some temper problems, especially after the loss of a tight tennis match. We were in the same tennis club. I danced at his wedding, celebrated his daughter’s birth with him, just like all his other friends.

The marriage didn’t last. She moved out and filed for divorce, moved to another city a few hundred miles away. She got full custody and he paid in more than one way. He took it hard. One night we all celebrated our success in a tennis tournament. Paul seemed to be in a good mood, joked around as always at first, but with each drink, he got quieter, and then he talked about how lonely he felt and how useless. We cheered him up, made plans how we would involve him in our lives, reassured him that life would go on and promised him better days.

On Monday the next week, he was dead. He had driven his car to the beach, died from self-inflicted carbon monoxide poisoning. We all took it hard. We should have seen the warning signs. Why didn’t we do more?

When people close to us, voluntarily end their lives, our entire value system is thrown into question. We feel guilt and grief and don’t know how to cope with it.

The suicide rates have risen nationwide. Suicide is now the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. and one of only three on the rise (drug overdose and Alzheimer’s disease are the other two) but we don’t talk about it much. It’s still a tabu-subject that makes us feel uncomfortable.

THEY say suicide is the cowards way out, but I don’t think it’s an easy way to go. THEY say suicide is a sin. If so, shouldn’t it also be a sin to make people that miserable?

How much inner turmoil and torment a person endures, is something we can never see on the outside.

This week two celebrities committed suicide. For us, the ordinary people who live from paycheck to paycheck, it’s hard to understand. They have money and fame -all the things so many of us wish for, still, they suffer to a point of no return. Money can’t buy happiness, love and everlasting inner peace.

We cannot and should not judge people. Instead, we all should try to make the world a kinder place to live in. For many (too many) this time here on Earth is hell.

Befrienders Worldwide is a good place to get more information how to prevent suicide and please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline if you need help 1-800-273-8255

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Anthony Bourdain “Parts Unknown”

 

 

23 thoughts on “Suicide – Parts Unknown

  1. This is such a powerful piece and it gets right to the heart of the matter. Those who do not walk in others shoes mustn’t judge as if they do. Every brain is different. They each tell a different story, and perhaps the theme that prevails most often is happiness, or the lack thereof for those who suffer on a daily basis.
    A beautiful tribute to a friend gone too soon. Thank you for sharing it.

    Peace and good days

    Like

  2. Suicide touches so many… even attempts. A dear friend of mine was visiting and said she was going to nap. It was hours later I discovered a note in her hand when I could not wake her. I knew she was unhappy but not to that extent. She survived and got help. I still feel guilt for not seeing it. There needs to be discussion about it – depression and suicide… I thank you for posting what you did!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I too have lost friends to suicide, and acquaintances, and siblings of friends. It reverberates among those left behind for a long time – especially young children. It’s a terrible legacy to leave behind because no one ever really understands.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can only echo what others have written here. I particularly react ,as you do, to ideas like a coward’s way out, and suicide being a sin. You conveyed your own love and pain so very well. You are absolutely right that suicide needs to be demystified and discussed.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This has been a very sad week. These high profile suicides have stirred up memories for me, too, with three friends (over many years) that took their own lives. For those of us who have never known unconquerable depression it’s impossible to understand. On the other hand, we don’t have to know that pain personally to be a keen observer and do what we can. The hardest thing to grasp, however, is that often, as in the case of those friends I’m remembering, is how hard they worked to hide their pain. With Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain being such recognizable faces and personalities, perhaps there will be some positive public education that will remain helpful. I’ll end from where I started…this has been a VERY sad week!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have a cousin who committed suicide and I’ve been to that dark place myself. Luckily (or not) someone helped me. I do my best never to judge another who may succeed in ending their life, but admit to feeling a lot of anger and confusion when Robin Williams did. He had (as you pointed out ) wealth, fame and celebrity, all things people aspire to that are supposed to make a ‘perfect life’. I’ve come to know, however, that it’s not the MATERIAL things that make the difference, it’s the connection. When one feels disconnected enough, one may say “what’s the point” and try to stop what is truly unimaginable pain. Well that’s how it was for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This is a brilliant article which I would like to share on my revamped FaceBook page which is intended to be dedicated to things written by bloggers that I feel should be read and hopefully shared to a wider audience. Those that know me and many of my FaceBook crew do will not be surprised that I choose to share this particular piece. Suicide is never painless neither for the person who takes their own life and not for the closest people left behind. It never ever leaves you. We must all be vigilant though there will tragically always be occasions when we miss the signs. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Suicidal thoughts are ones we keep to ourselves as we don’t want others to know about them for fear of them trying to stop us… as I attempted to end my life I know this too well… It saddens me to see people who we think have it all are voluntarily ending their lives…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: Suicide: Parts Unknown. – The Militant Negro™

  10. It’s hard for me to click on the ‘like’ button because this is all so sad. I’ve known 3 people now that have succumbed to their depression. Each one came as a shock, but not so much if you really looked back. One was when I was only 18, more than 50 years ago. The most recent one was a couple years ago. Though it seems unfathomable that these people didn’t love us enough to stay with us, the fact is that the pain is so deep that perhaps there is nothing those of us that care about them can really do. I don’t know. I know there’s lots of help available. I know I’m not trained to be that help. I wish people talked about it more…so thank you for sharing this today. I’m so sad about Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. I hope now they are in a happier place.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It seems we all have lost people close to us to suicide and we remember it well, even though it happened a long time ago.

      I agree with you, we need to talk about it more. Thank you for reading my post.

      Like

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