Like life isn’t complicated enough already, now we are on a diet, that’s what HE said. It’s my own fault. I left the scale in the living room and he stepped on it. It would have been smarter if I would have schlepped the heavy roll of fabric up the stairs to the bathroom, but no, I had to get the scale downstairs -to make my life easier- and by doing so I set up a chain reaction.
A. My husband stepped on it.
B. My husband cursed like a sailor.
C. My husband sat down with an earnest face, gave me a sad look, and declared that he needed to lose weight.
A smart woman would have been quiet, but smart I was not. “How much?” I asked and when he told me, I must have shown a reaction he did not expect.
I am not certain, but I think my shoulders moved a bit, like when you have a hiccup, and I might have bit my lips too hard, like when you try to hold back laughter. As I said, I am not sure, but somehow he figured out that I was more amused than shocked.
He has gained weight. We might as well declare him the winner of the coronavirus-quarantine-weight-gain-competition now. He gained -hold your horses- 21 pounds since his shoulder surgery -which took place on February 18.
How in the world? I am cooking healthier than ever since he had his bypass surgery in November. I have been cutting out sodium and kicked fried food to the curb.
If I could -sadly I cannot because he is sitting in the next room- I would roll on the floor with laughter. 21 pounds of weight gain in not even four months. That must be some kind of record.
Guess who gets the blame?
“It’s your cooking he said,” forgetting to mention the number of brownies, cookies, and chocolates he ate during the lockdown. He has developed a taste for sweets and it shows. Of course, I noticed his weight gain but decided not to say anything. After all, we committed to: Through thick and thin or something like that.
How did he gain all that weight?
Come to think of, his eating habits haven’t changed that much. He always goes for seconds, when he enjoys dinner. Only when the food is too healthy, that’s when he eats one serving, but searches for something snackable later on.
My husband has an active job, he walks between 14,000 to 17,000 steps during a normal workday. This came to an abrupt standstill when he had unexpected bypass surgery in November. During his recovery, it took him almost two months until he managed to walk (with a walker and without) one mile.
Then came shoulder replacement surgery in February. Again he was stranded at home, sitting mostly in his recliner for about six weeks, a bit more active, but still not even close to his normal calorie burning daily routine.
And now WE are on a diet.
“Salads, only,” he announced.
“You mean the poor leafy greens you drown in two cups of salad dressing?” I replied innocently, which he answered with a puzzled look.
My husband, bless his little heart, has absolutely no idea what calories are -or where they might come from. Carbohydrates, protein, serving sizes and other fun stuff don’t mean anything to him. He only checks the labels for gluten and dairy -because of me, since I had to give up both.
Diet, what a terrifying word, so often misused and misunderstood. Diet, comes from the Greek word Diaita, meaning Way of Life. In my opinion, it explains everything.
It’s not the way we eat, it’s the way we live that makes us gain or lose weight. I believe life is a balancing act in every form and way. If we move enough, we can eat what we want -if we don’t have any health restrictions.
And so we went on no diet seven days ago. So far he has lost 4.5 pounds. How?
I gave him the leash, promoted our “Patches” to his personal trainer, and send them both off to my park. She is our youngest dog and normally my walking buddy.
Six miles every day = 12,000 steps with his 4-legged fitness instructor. For a while no sweets -just the spoonful of icecream he can’t live without. Low sodium meals, no fried food, everything in moderation.
His way of life is back to normal, the chain is off the fridge and I am off the hook. Let’s see if I am right?