Every child born should be wanted, loved, and cherished by it’s parents. That’s what I wish for. Sadly, it’s not always the case. I was an unwanted child myself. My mother made sure I knew how much she didn’t want me, she repeated it over and over. Once, when I was five or six years old, she told me she threw herself in front of my father’s car when she was very pregnant with me. I suppose it was in the driveway when he was driving slow, while she didn’t have a problem hurting me, she surely wouldn’t have risked harming herself.
Years later my Grandma confirmed the story. Being unwanted and unloved, that’s something I wish nobody would ever have to experience. Years later, when I was a young adult I wondered if I would have been aborted if the laws would have been different. I bet I would have been a No-life. 🙂
Would I have a problem not having been born? Nope, because I wouldn’t know about it.
What I do have a problem with is how we deal with the little babies we force into this world. We tell the women they have to have the children and then we leave them alone. We don’t offer free childcare at schools or universities for teenage mothers. We don’t care if they have an education, we force them to be mothers and then we step away. Great thinking!
What do you do if you are young and have a baby and no family who supports you? What’s the logical next step? A forced marriage? What options do you have, if you don’t finish school or you cant get a degree? Flipping burgers, cleaning houses, prostitution, becoming a stripper? Oh, the possibilities are endless. How about finding a husband to make the happy family complete?
Am I cynical or realistic?
Being an unwanted child. It’s something you carry with you for the rest of your life. How lucky was I that my Grandma stepped in and I could spend the majority of my childhood (from seven to eighteen) with her on her farm? Instead of tears, there was laughter, instead of coldness and abuse, there was love and warmth. Did I ever forget the fact that I had somewhere parents who never wanted me? No, I didn’t.
Not every child is that lucky. Many -way too many- stay with their parents and collect more scares -inside and out. I have one on my head, one of the reasons I always have bangs. On my right side, right where the hairline starts there is a big white scare, it stops 1/8 of an inch before the temple. The little accident broke the bones in my forehead. I survived! The scare is there.
Not being wanted from birth on, that’s a tough burden. It’s almost like you have no right to be around. If your own mother doesn’t want you, hello, it’s a no-brainer. The rest of the world doesn’t want you either.
I look at Texas and their new 6-week abortion law and I can only shake my head. How naïve are these lawmakers and the supreme court judges who let it happen? Do they really think forcing a mother or parents into childbirth will bring a lot of healthy, happy babies into this world -and they will live happily ever after and then some?
Aren’t they aware of the history and the resilience of human beings -especially women? When we want something we will find a way. The rich women will board a plane and leave the country for a short “vacation” where somewhere a doctor in a land of the truly free, will be allowed to abort a fetus up to 10-12 weeks and of course, in cases where carrying full term would put a hardship on the mother even further.
The other women, the poor and the middle class who can’t afford a short vacation, many of them will find an ‘angel maker’ meaning they will die because the procedure will be done by a highly questionable doctor, in a back alley, under often terrible circumstances. Women will even mutilate themselves to stop an unwanted pregnancy’s.
The reasons why women want an abortions are endless. Financial reasons, addiction issues, rape comes to mind, incest, abuse to name a few. How can we be that cruel?
Nobody wants an abortion or aims for one. “Hey, I am going out now because I want an abortion in a few months,” has no woman ever said.
Teenagers and young adults will have sex or make love and they get younger and younger. There will be unwanted pregnancies, there always were. The Roman empire and the Greek empire so long ago accepted it as normal.
The Romans and Greeks weren’t much concerned with protecting the unborn, and when they did object to abortion it was often because the father didn’t want to be deprived of a child that he felt entitled to.
The early philosophers also argued that a fetus did not become formed and begin to live until at least 40 days after conception for a male, and around 80 days for a female. The philosopher Aristotle wrote:
…when couples have children in excess, let abortion be procured before sense and life have begun; what may or may not be lawfully done in these cases depends on the question of life and sensation.
Aristotle, Politics 7.16
Through much of Western history, abortion was not criminal if it was carried out before ‘quickening’, that is before the fetus moved in the womb between 18 and 20 weeks into the pregnancy. Until that time people tended to regard the fetus as part of the mother and so its destruction posed no greater ethical problem than other forms of surgery.
Now we think every fetus is OURS, it seems to belong to the country and the politicians and everybody else but to the woman who carries it.
Forcing women to have children will surely keep women in check, won’t it? Young men and boys will get hammered with child support for children they didn’t plan on having. Forced into an unhappy marriage by their parents, that’s another dream come true.
When religious groups force everybody to live by their rules what happens? I guess we will see. My wildest guess is it will turn Texas blue. Maybe the woman will leave Texas, as they should, and leave the men behind who made them people second class -again.
The abortion numbers have been going down for years, yet it wasn’t good enough.
What does stop abortion?
- Free birth control for women
- Sexual education in school
- Places like planned parenthood, because parenthood should be planned and if it wasn’t, you need someone who informs your about your options.
- Free childcare for single moms
- Childcare in schools and universities
Being unwanted is perhaps the worst feeling one can have. Perhaps the reason why so many ‘unwanted’ children have problems later on in life. Addiction, eating disorders, multiple marriages, prostitutions, depression…to name just a few.
This post was not meant to make anybody feel sorry for me, because there is no reason, it was just instead meant to shed some light on the truth, as painful as it might be.
Perhaps the abortion laws should be written by the unwanted children and not by men in suits and judges in robes?