It was the month after Christmas and all through the house
nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste,
at the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
the wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
and the way I’d never said, “No Thank you, please.”
As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
and prepared once again to do battle with dirt.
I said to myself, as I only can
“you can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”
So—away with the last of the sour cream dip,
get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
every last bit of food that I like must be banished
till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won’t have a cookie—-not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I’m hungry, I’m lonesome and life is a bore,
but isn’t that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author unknown
You find the best poems! Happy New Year and Happy January Diet (if there is such a thing)
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thanks
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Love it! That is just perfect January poetry. 🤗
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Thanks for the laugh! I haven’t stopped by for a while so great to see that you are still blogging.
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Thank you for stopping by. It’s good to see you are still around as well. Happy New Year.
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😁
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Hilarious 😀 😀 😀 After treating myself to all the forbidden holiday desserts, I must now face January’s challenge of making those added pounds disappear 😦
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You and me both 🙂
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Looking through the respondents I see some who have been missing for a long time. I wonder where they went and how and what they are doing! Happy New Year everyone!
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I miss some of them as well. I know one or two passed on, others just stopped blogging for a while and never came back.
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Brilliant! Happy New Year 🥳. KL ❤
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Happy New Year
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Thanks for a good laugh!
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Ow yes this…… I checked my food intake and my eyes did a double take! So much delicious foods around the festive days! 🤗
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I hear your pain 🙂
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😉 Thanks! Working on getting back on a healthy track again now… Happy new year 🥂
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There are no carrots in the fridge right now. Just a shameful amount of Tiramisu …
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I LOVE tiramisu, now you have me drooling. Happy New Year.
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What a brilliant poem. Made me laugh. Thank you.🤣🤗
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Not a bad thing to start the new year with laugher. 🙂
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Exactly
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loved it! 🙂
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What a hilarious poem!!
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good one!!! 😉❤ ❤
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Another morning and another crushing disappointment to discover I didn’t lose 10 lbs while sleeping. Clearly a woman was not involved in designing the rules of weight loss.
Oh January. You are such a cruel month.
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I think weight is superglued to me now. It was so easy to lose it when I was younger, now you have to pry it off.
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I know the feeling. I’m still carrying my original baby fat 😉
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LOL
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Oh this is so hilarious and sadly so, so true! My favorite line “ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.”
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That is absolutely brilliant! Thanks so much for sharing!
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You’re welcome
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I think this sums it all up very well. Sob!
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Don’t know whether to cry or laugh?
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Laugh! It was worth it.
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🙂
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And laughing burns calories, right?
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Wonderful!
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Cool and a great poem. ❤ ❤
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Great quotation
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Perfect. Happy New Year!
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Happy New Year, Peter!
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love it!
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