20 Little Pills in April

How can 20 harmless-looking pills have such an impact? How do they manage to put so much power into something so small? Listening to my body is not an easy task.

The first time I took five pills of the chemotherapy drug Methotrexate was Wednesday, April 6th, on our anniversary and I handled it like a stormtrooper. The second time, one week later, rattled me quite a bit. Again, not nauseated but hungry, I felt very fatigued. The kind of tiredness you normally don’t experience. Being able to fall asleep in a few seconds, dragging your feet all day long. It came with a nice little headache, muscle ache, and joint pain.

I had listened to the young man in the video, who had recommended taking the medication in the evening. “Why not deal with the side effects in your sleep?” It made so much sense. I did the same and felt entirely grateful, but waking up, it hit me like a freight truck.

“It takes some getting used to,” my doctor told me. She was right. I spent two weeks working in slow motion, listening to my body. I had picked the wrong day to take the medication and now I am moving it by one day every week until I will be able to take it Saturday in the evening, so I can be ‘out of order’ on Sunday. Five pills at a time.

April came and went quickly. I didn’t accomplish much, but a lot happened. I made a customer very happy when I restored her grandma’s chair right in time for her mom to still sit in it. The damage underneath, and the repairs were challenging.

I was able to do some good and I could give to someone who deserved it but didn’t ask for it. Perhaps not the charity I had had in mind when I started my “12 months of change and purpose” but it felt right and that’s sometimes all that matters.

I would love to re-start reading self-published Indi books, preferably written by bloggers.

I ordered a book and I am still enjoying it. I will write about it soon!

I want to discover songs that aren’t on the current hitlist or were recently released, but perhaps pieces from other countries, or long-forgotten singers.

I lost two friends recently. One to a deliberating stroke, the other one because he is a moody drama queen who has become a bit too self-centered. But, nevertheless the circumstances, I miss them both equally.

I want to laugh every day for ten minutes when I drink my morning smoothie. Youtube, here I come!

Still on it. Every morning I search for something that makes me laugh. April was the month of bloopers.

I hope I will be able to help strangers within my limits -preferably incognito.

As mentioned above, it wasn’t incognito but it was unexpected -for both of us.

I want to try new things I always wanted to do. 

Does listening to my body count?

New recipes, one each month -all within my health restrictions. Yummy!

Bone Marrow Soup! A healthy broth, as required in my new diet regiment. Yummy might be overrated!

I have to let go of things I don’t use anymore, even though it might sting a bit.

This has been a bit of a challenge, but still on it. Mr. Hoarder, who can’t let stuff go, and Mrs. Minimalist, are at it.

I want to try new routines to break bad habits –and there are plenty.

I have started a diet that is absolutely brutal. The AIP (Autoimmune Protokoll) takes more willpower than I seem to have, it makes giving up smoking seem like a walk in the park. I have never been hungry in my life and I know I get enough fuel and all the nutrition I need, but this feeling of hunger 24/7 is not easy to deal with.

However, the diet has made quite an impact. My body seems to love it. 90 days! The AIP is an elimination diet, so it involves not eating certain types of food for several weeks at a time and carefully noting any effects on health. My body is talking to me, I need to learn to listen! I am journaling.

I hope to find time to sew new dog beds, created with the yards of upholstery fabric remnants

Yes, and yes!

I want to re-watch new (old) movies. Black and white, American movies or movies with under titles. (Hey, lady, that’s more of a treat?)

For one and a half hours I went to Italy and enjoyed “The Roman Holiday” with Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck.


I made a new friend. The kind of friendship between two people who had to meet. Very similar circumstances, but yet so different. We talk every day and get to know each other better. An unexpected gift from the universe.

How can it be May already? Time seems to have found another gear, it’s flying faster.

22 thoughts on “20 Little Pills in April

  1. I really enjoy hearing how you’re addressing your goals and new objectives. It takes time to fit in even really good and useful new challenges, like reading more or finding time for old movies, but you’re finding new patterns and they’re fun to read about. The chemo routine is really tough, but I think you’re really on to something when you work out a schedule that gives you “down days” on a Sunday. I’m impressed with all you get done, and you do inspire, Bridget! 🙂 Happy May!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have been stuck in a routine and with new goals I find myself enjoying things like old movies, which I normally wouldn’t make time for. I am good with list or goals. If it’s written down it’s like a command and I ‘have to’ achieve it. 🙂
      Happy May, Debra!

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  2. Bridget you set the bar high for taking your health seriously. That chair!! Oh my goodness how beautiful. What a sense of gratification and satisfaction you must feel upon completing it. ❤

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    • I am not setting the bar high, I don’t have another choice other than fighting it, or accepting to be heavy medicated for the rest of my life. Thank you. I thought the chair turned out nicely.

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      • And gratifying for those of us who have come to know and care about you to be able to share the fruits of your labor and struggles and challenges and etc.. I always love to see your work projects and to hear you are taking better care of yourself. Keep up the good work but don’t push yourself too hard. I think you’re doing well on both fronts.

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  3. I do so hope that this treatment brings some relief Bridget. The chair turned out looking lovely, Well done! I hope that May turns out a better month for all of us than April was. I have to try to remember that I am so much more fortunate than so many people all over the world and my small troubles are nothing compared to theirs.

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    • I am fortunate as well. I still have a choice, so many others don’t but you are right, we should never forget how fortunate we are compared to others. It puts things back into perspective. I appreciate your comment and your compliment very much.

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  4. April passed in a flash with two weeks spent away from home – covering nearly 2 000 km in our vehicle – I have had a friend, whom I have not seen for a year, stay over; and I had coffee with two others after a short walk on the outskirts of town. I think you are right about moving your medication to Saturdays and wish you well with your medication regime.

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  5. I hope the medicine starts with the good effects soon! Your list is quite the list. I admire your ambition! The chair looks beautiful! I like your positive outlook. I know it is not easy when one doesn’t feel good. Enjoy your day!

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