I have written some – and have published none

I was stunned -and somewhat amused- by the number of posts I started writing but never published on my blog. Some of them are just thoughts, ramblings, speculations, dreams, and wishes, while others are biased and opinionated pieces in the making.

Through my looking glass! That should be the new category IF I ever have the guts to publish all my hidden trashy treasures, the unfinished thoughts, the not laughed laughter, provided I find the time it takes for the fine filing -and there is much- not to mention the editing I still do now and then, even though I have the tendency to overlook -and over read- a lot.

Treasures or trash?

The decision-making. Should I really post this? I know I will swim against the stream again in most of my unpublished writings. Some posts are political, others just cynical, and some are humorous. How can a woman not make fun of the fact that we once again lose our rights?

So much history, so many puzzle pieces, so many memories!

Opinions of the day. Do they still matter weeks later?

So many thoughts come to my mind, like the gun post I started writing last week, that brought me back to India to a time when I thought a pistol had been aimed at me.

I was foaming out of my nostrils when I started typing. I wrote what came to my mind, and then, as usual, I got sidetracked but continued writing because, in my mind, guns and the time I spent in India are woven together, just like ants are with religion.

I have published some of my thoughts, but have been very careful lately. Am I risking too much? Am I willing to lose the arch-conservative readers, who don’t even remember why they once have been attracted to my blog, to begin with?

And on the contrary, am I willing to attract the ultra-liberals?

Am I scared to lose the likes I get from readers who don’t even bother reading?

Are first-generation immigrants and Americans by choice even allowed to criticize the land of the free where so many people are incarcerated?

Should I write about swimming with a dead king, something I remembered when I watched Queen Elizabeth II. lying in state? Now, weeks later, who would care?

And then it hit me. I am writing for myself -and often to myself. I have never written to please others. I have never written to collect LIKES or FOLLOWERS -even though both are nice. I love the communication with other bloggers and cherish most of the comments.

Blogging is my out(let) when there is too much pressure in the cooker when I fear the lid might blow off (or my head might split open).

I write, I get it out of my system, then I forget about it. Why bother publishing it? Why risking to be too opinionated?

But since when do I play it safe? Answering my own questions: Since never!

So I have thought it might be fun to go through my draft posts and refresh my memory now and then. Why not share some of it? I should finish my poem about Bitches!

Winter is coming, football is on TV, and the puppy is growing up. In a few months, the busiest season in my business will be over and I will have more time.

Blogging never gets old, does it?

Through my looking glass!

I think I like it!

29 thoughts on “I have written some – and have published none

  1. I read your blog precisely because I like to learn your views. I may not share them but that doesn’t matter to me. Through blogging I think I learn to open up my own thinking on a variety of subjects.
    Besides that, I have really liked reading your Losing It All series. It may have been painful for you to rehash and share some of those memories but, again, it gave me an opportunity to “walk a mile in your shoes” all the while thinking there but for the grace of God, or in my case more likely the bank of mom and dad, go I.
    Right now, I’m not sure if I will continue my starting over blog, especially because it would probably include a rehash and sharing of my painful memories, or if I will switch to the more philosophical blog as I had originally intended.
    Decisions, decisions. Again, how lucky am I to have choices?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think I am doing things wrong… in all my time on here I have only had a handful on pieces left floundering in the draft section. I have gone back to them but have not found the same spark yet that started them… so they sit and wait. I wish you luck with your decision to publish or not to publish!

    Like

  3. I really do understand your self-questioning, Bridget. We share ourselves with strangers who become friends, and I, too, carry a desire to be well thought of, and perhaps a rant or two wouldn’t serve that purpose. And then, too, there’s only so much time to engage in dialogue, and so the “safer” our words, the less time needs to go into explanation or possible defense. But we need to be authentic, too, and so I have always appreciated your willingness to be as transparent in discussion of your past, and I do enjoy hearing how you observe others today. I just encourage you to keep being you! πŸ™‚

    Like

  4. I was laughing after reading “am I scared to lose the likes I get from readers who don’t even bother reading?”… We all are different yet similar πŸ˜€. I am glad I never thought of earning a single penny through my blog. I like my freedom and all are welcome unless they cost my peace of mind 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I like that picture πŸ™‚
    I only press LIKE if I’ve read the piece – and I don’t press like it didn’t grab me. Whether in the positive or negative.
    It is a fine line though, you’re right. If we blog because we’ve something to say then (in this world for sure) we need to censor ourselves. So, our heartfelt, controversial opinions maybe stay in drafts. 😁

    Liked by 1 person

      • It’s great when you’ve written something that people want to engage with – but we run the risk of the nasty ones coming out. Like, it’s okay to have different opinions, but social media makes it so easy to be very personal.
        That doesn’t seem to happen so much on this platform? Like it does on Twitter, for example.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I think the tone has to be polite, professional even when we feel heated. After all, it is just our biased opinion and so often there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ it’s all in the eyes of the beholder.
          Social media is out of control. Free speech gets abused, lies spread and it’s too fast for most of us. We don’t even have the time to fact check anymore, so many just spread headlines without further digging into the subject. It’s a sad state of affair, a mirror of our times and what we have become.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. You have hit the nail on the head: we mostly blog for ourselves in the sense that it is a forum for expressing whatever we want to. If readers decide to leave, so be it, others will take their place. I enjoy the variety of your writing, so bring it on and share whatever you wish to share πŸ™‚

    Liked by 4 people

    • Writing for yourself is key, in the blog world, I think. I agree with what you say. When I started 16 years ago I was concerned about whether anyone will read, but I found myself inauthentic and so I stopped. Now, I rarely look at the stats. I like the engaging community here which is why I stay and write (just not as often anymore).

      Liked by 2 people

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