Yesterday I had an affair, today I am back at my desk, trying to relax! Trying to shake my irritation off. What a week?
Both of my sewing machines, the commercial and the ‘normal’ one decided to act up. One beyond repair, “SHE is too old.” That’s the verdict. The other one I could replace, and I ordered the one I had my eye on for a while.
The commercial sewing machine that is beyond repair is my lifeline, the foundation of my creations. What am I going to do without a commercial sewing machine?
But, here I am, not giving up, still standing, still kicking.
Do you know where I was last night?
I was hunting with Levin in the fields of Yasyana Polyana, Russia. I could feel the cold morning air and the dew under my feet.
I was worried about my farm and cattle, and the old Russian kopecks I owed to various people.
I was having an affair with Vronsky, feeling passion and regret. Waiting for my lover to come back from a party, worried whether he was with some other woman.
I checked myself in the mirror to see whether my beauty was intact.
Then I committed suicide by jumping in front of a train due to my insecurity.
I had been reading Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy again and for about an hour, I forgot that I was juggling so many problems all at once.
Maybe I will never visit the fields of Russia again and I am certain I will never have an extramarital affair, and I am not planning on leaving this planet by suicide.
But for an hour, I felt all of it. I was there. Not with them. I was them.
There was no sewing machine. No credit line, no interest rate, no declined bank loan.
Yes, in Russia THEY treated me like garbage too, but it was different.
Now I am back to my life! My garbage!
I think tonight I am going to open another book and I will travel to a different country.
Anywhere, preferably at a time before sewing machines were invented, or maybe this time, I will be wealthy, and all my problems will go away until I close my eyes!
Soon my darling, I am going to make it happen! Not sure how, but we will meet!