One Year On A Chemo Drug

Just a low dose, but still, it’s a chemo drug and I have mixed feelings.
It gave me my life back but took small pieces of my freedom as well.

The Yin and Yang of life, the certainty that everything comes with a price
The balance of our existence. You take, you give.

I am masking up everywhere I go to protect myself and became a target
for political radicals who think they know it all by knowing nothing.

Publicly humiliated by a stranger, who believes his political views
give him the right to call out a woman wearing a face mask.

I didn’t know I can talk that loud, didn’t think I could be that harsh.
I can hit hard, which he felt, every blow -word by word.

My hair didn’t fall out, it deserved the purple and blue stripes I put in to celebrate.
How can I not play with color, when life around me has become so gray?

Eight little yellow pills, every Friday night, followed by chocolates
to stop the midnight run to the powder room. Sometimes I sleep through.

I feel so much gratefulness and gratitude to have so little to deal with,
compared with others who fight for their lives -and often lose.

Just an autoimmune disease, seems like nothing at first.
Then came the realization that I am really sick, no room left to play around anymore.

A drink sent me into agony, and a burger gave me pain and fogginess
No grains, no sugar, no dairy. A long list. So much forbidden but so much left to enjoy.

Sleeplessness, cured with two Kiwis each night. Juicing has become an addiction.
So much doesn’t make sense until we try it, I am glad I am curious enough.

Eyes wide open, smiling, bouncing toward my future.
The chemo pills are not controlling my life, they are a gift.

I have met others like me. Strong women and men,
we open up, we share, we compare, and we cheer for all.

The disciplined ones are on a winning streak, in a minefield full of temptations.
One wrong step blows us out of remission. I have learned strictness.

Eight little pills a week gave me my life back.
I do the rest.


43 thoughts on “One Year On A Chemo Drug

  1. Pingback: โ€œOne Year On A Chemo Drugโ€ – Medical and Public Health Awareness

  2. You’ve approached your treatment with a strong commitment to making it work, and I think your attitude has so much to do with the success. I’m so glad to hear your report of one year’s progress, Bridget. You’re a strong woman! And you inspire others.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am sorry to hear of your health concerns, Bridget and R.A. is a disorder that changes many aspects of life.
    You write so well; I am always transfixed til I reach the end of the post. And the format you chose for this post is intriguing and punchy!
    It sounds like you have found a way to find the positive in a difficult situation?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So the chemo pill causes a reaction with dairy, sugar and grain? That’s a lot! But you’re right, it’s also very little in exchange for your life. My husband is on immunotherapy treatments, once every 3 weeks, for this year. We also feel restrained but grateful to be together. Modern medicine, with all the ups and downs, is a miracle.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. “So much forbidden but so much left to enjoy.” That’s a great way to look at it. When trying to determine if diet would help my daughter with migraines, we tried eliminating sugar, gluten, dairy, nuts, and a few other things. She was discouraged, wondering, “What CAN I eat?!” Then we made a list of what she COULD eat, and it turned out to be a long list. We explored the wonderful world of fruits, veggies, and seeds and created some recipes never enjoyed before.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. So glad to hear that the treatment is effective. I also continue to mask up in indoor public spaces. So far, no one has challenged my choice. I guess my gray hair says it all ๐Ÿ™‚ As you say: some people “think they know it all by knowing nothing.”

    Liked by 3 people

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