So, I am stupid?

My morning turned out great! An older man, sadly I can not call him a gentleman because he was all but gentle, called me. He had found my business number online, which he explained to me later. But first, he came straight to the point. With a hoarse voice, and without wasting any time on manners or nonsense like saying ‘Hello’ he told me he had a cigarette burn in his couch and he wanted me to come by and fix it.

I could not deny my upbringing and after telling him nicely “Hello,” I then asked him how he was doing. Now, because he cannot read this, I have to admit I only did that to tick him off, but then I can’t help but wonder if I use friendliness also as a form of self-defense these days.

Friendliness! Not an easy thing to give in a world that seems to become more and more unfriendly.

Just last week I bought myself a new metal sign, which is now on a shelf leaning against some books because Amazon delivered too quickly and I haven’t made up my mind where I want to hang it.

In a world, where you can be anything….be kind.

I wanted this reminder for myself but I hope all my customers and students will see it as well. It’s so easy to fall into the traps of entitlement and impatience nowadays.

“I don’t fix cigarette burns, neither do I go to people’s houses and do small repairs, but there are companies out there that do that.”

“Your number came up,” he insisted and he is correct. I do repair old antique furniture and restore them to new glory.

“I found you on Facebook,” he went on.

“I am not Facebook with my business or private,” I informed him and he didn’t want to hear about it.

“I found you on Facebook,” he insisted and I just let him talk.

“So can you fix it or not?” Prince Charming wanted to know, which forced me to tell him again that I don’t do this kind of repair.

“Then why does your number come up on Google for furniture repair?” he almost yelled now and I found it hard to stay friendly.

“There are different kinds of repairs,” I tried to explain very friendly, which he ignored.

“So you are too stupid to fix a cigarette burn,” he barked, and then I heard a CLICK, and sure enough, the man had hung up.

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How does it feel to be treated like that? Not good. I suppose it depends on the day and on my mood. Sometimes I don’t react to it all and I shake it off like a puppy shakes off water drops, other days it stings (stinks) and it stays with me.

Today it stayed with me.

I don’t know why people think they have the right to offend a stranger or insult someone whose service they requested.

It bothered me. The simple fact that he had hung up on me, which also happens now more often than it did just a couple of years ago, made me angry. What a coward!

People’s demeanor has changed. The freedom of speech which was meant to give us the right to speak up is now abused to offend, belittle, bully, and hurt people.

Fifteen minutes later it still bothered me.”How dare he,” I whispered and looked at our puppy Vader like he had all the answers. He wagged his tail like he was trying to cheer me up.

I know a company that does small repairs like this, it’s a franchise, not easy to find and normally I give people the number and their name if I get a similar request.

Thirty minutes later I picked up my cell phone and texted the man.

I have the number of a company that does this kind of repairs

Sure enough, he called back.

“The first number you gave me was not in service,” he barked and I just shook my head.

“I didn’t give you a number, I am the one you called STUPID.”

Nothing, silence on the other end.

“You hung up on me before I could give you the number. You hung up on me after you offended me.”

What now? Do I offend him? Do I hang up on him? Do I give him the number?

Well, the Elephant-Kindness sign did not work. I told him I would feel stupid if I gave him the number and hang up.

I should have given him the number, perhaps I would have set a good example, but I am so tired of being nice to rude people.

Today I did not win! Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I will be kind

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