…
Sometimes, it gets too much.
Too much, nothing. Too quiet. Too much reality.
And then, mostly at night
I write new blog posts in my head.
To compose a better one than the last time,
I go out into the night to do research
for the new story.
Investigative. I’m really good.
Undercover, in my own head.
Then I realize that the new story makes no sense.
It’s part of past memories and present dreams.
A bit blurry
and I erase everything -in my mind.
Sometimes I fall asleep.
Phrases on my mind, remembrances put into words.
The next morning I don’t remember.
I guess it wasn’t important.
Maybe I need a notebook on the nightstand?
The happy Quitter! 
Heavy burdens weigh upon my weary soul,
Sometimes it gets too much, taking its toll.
But I find solace in resilience’s console.
🌼
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We know you do your research and you definitely compose your subjects with skill, so I think all that late night processing aids polishing your words even if some of the effort is subliminal. It isn’t good for your sleep, perhaps, but it’s interesting how your mind works, Bridget. I love the poem.
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My mind starts wandering (off) if I let it at night. Take all the distractions of the day away, and I am off to ‘worry land’ 🙂
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Ah night, when the quiet brings out every imaginable thought that stays hidden away during daylight hours. I have been taking magnesium, will try what you suggested. My dreams are filled with work, our problems by day don’t want to give rest by night.
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It seems our nightly thoughts are something that can’t be tamed.
Try the “Calm” it works wonders and/or if you can take Melatonin gummies, try those. My husband swears by them, so does my friend. Sadly, I cannot take them because I have RA.
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You’ve spoken volumes Bridget. So often, I will lay awake at night, solving all the world’s problems and writing brilliant blog posts, only to wake up and not recall any details. The most dangerous thing any of us can do, when we wake at night is turn our brains on. My former co-worker used to have a notepad by his bead and jot stuff down, every time he woke up. That would just make it worse for me. Happy Monday. Allan
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I have avoided the ‘notebook’ on my nightstand so far, and I hope it stays this way.
And here I thought waking up at night was a women-thing. 🙂
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Been there, done that, done it again, and again. My handwriting is bad at the best of times. Half asleep and it is often illegible!
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My handwriting was always a bit off. I write the European style, my ‘n’ and ‘m’s’ look like ‘u’s’ which drives Americans mad. Also they have no use for my ‘g’s’ and ‘f’s’. Over time my handwriting got worse. I don’t use it often enough. Now it looks like a chicken stepped in ink and walked over a piece of paper afterward. 🙂
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Perhaps you could sell it as modern art!
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Hmmm, that might work.
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Great poem about the often-mysterious creative process. My notebook is never far from reach, including when I sleep. 😁
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Wow, I am impressed. I haven’t made it to the notebook -yet. So far the circus is in my head. 🙂
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Thank you, but if you saw all my scribbles, you would not be that impressed. 😆 I do enjoy the process of starting all my poems there and then typing after. I enjoy the freedom of being messy in a notebook. ✍🏻 You seem to be an effective Ringmaster of that circus! 🎪
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“An effective ringmaster of that circus,” oh that’s a good one. Thanks.
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You inspired it! It’s all yours. 😁
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I used to keep a notebook beside my bed and use it often to pen stray thoughts, but one time, after scrambling in the middle of the night to find a pencil in the dark to write down my thought, and reading it next day, I was done with it. I still have no idea why I wrote “Commitment is the flag that has ostriched the ground”. Other than being confused for days on end, nothing came out of it. I just ended up hurting my neurons more for no reasons. 😕
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“Commitment is the flag that has ostriched the ground.” Brilliant. Yep that would keep me up at night too. 🙂
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Aye. That was two years ago. Since then I chose good sleep over bad notes. Apparently good food, sleep, water and air help in retention of thoughts a lot more than midnight scribbling. 😛
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But you never forgot 🙂
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Nope, primarily because I still use that notebook to sketch, and come across that sentence while flipping the pages. And secondary, because my superpower is remembering things that I should rather forget. 😛
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Goodness me. Many of us will relate to this, Bridget
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This give me hope. I might be normal after all 😂
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🙂
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I could so relate to this post!!! I find that my writing ideas always come at the most impractical times, especially when I am in the car for the three-hour trip to see my Mom. I never remember what I cannot write down (and yes, I do have a notebook) but obviously, it’s crucial that I watch the road while I drive 🙄 For some strange reason, writing ideas will also pop into my mind when I am (ah-hem) ‘trying’ to meditate ( a new addition to my life in an attempt to relieve stress). At night, my brain runs nonstop like a hamster on a wheel but I rarely get great writing ideas – just a lot of pointless worrying 🙄 And no, meditating at THAT hour does not seem to work, so no need to leave the notebook beside my bed…
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I know what you mean, my Hamster doesn’t want to stop running in the wheel either, BUT a friend recommended that I should try a magnesium powder called “Calm” which you can find at Amazon. Turns out, most of us older women have a magnesium deficit and because I can’t take Melatonin gummies (which would help to put the Hamster to sleep) I tried the powder. What a difference it is. Now I relax at night, but it doesn’t make me sleepy, however, it helps you fall asleep and stay asleep. Look into it (the lemon/raspberry is the best). https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Anti-Stress-Supplement-Raspberry/dp/B00BPUY3W0/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=calm&qid=1684168599&sr=8-5
It will stop the pointless worrying -which I invented 🙂
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Thank you so much! I HAVE started taking magnesium glycinate (did a bit of research and it was indeed recommended for its calming effects) as well as zinc, both in the evening. And I am DEFINITELY sleeping better (and a wee bit longer). I took melatonin for a long time and it didn’t seem to be working anymore. I really appreciate your recommendations! 🙏
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p.s. thanks a lot for inventing pointless worrying. I wondered if there was someone I could complain to about that 🤓
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LOL, thanks for the laugh.
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Eat Kiwis in the evening, which I didn’t believe at first, but it works.
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I actually tried them (read about this on one of your blog posts) and they do help but I think I might be a bit allergic to them. On the fourth evening, my mouth got a bit numb and itchy so I stopped 😬
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I make a smoothie with kiwi, spinach, coconutwater/or water and as the third ingredient I either use blackberries, orange, cherries or blueberries (whatever is in season or cheap).
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Yum!!! 😋
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Of course you do! inspiration is so fleeting… love from Poland
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