Arriving in Yourself

I often had the feeling that I didn’t fit into this world. The feeling that the people I was surrounded by were somehow different from me, that they had completely different lifestyles, values, or views than I did, and that I did not SEE myself in any of them.

20 Little Pills in April

How can 20 harmless-looking pills have such an impact? How do they manage to put so much power into something so small? Listening to my body is not an easy task.

There is No Way Back

How can five small pills be so powerful?

The fear I felt before I took my first low dose of a chemotherapy drug was real. I felt very nervous, had read up on it, had researched it mercilessly. The internet, as always, helped me to picture all kinds of horror scenarios in my head. The printed list of potential side effects that came with the medication didn’t help much either: Possible death. I chuckled when I read it out loud. My husband didn’t think it was humorous at all.

An Old Love

Dog-eared pages, paragraphs high-lighted with a yellow marker, notes, and comments scribbled on the side in a handwriting only I can decipher. Some of them I might never open again, others will be enjoyed by my friends who only get the good ones I want to share, the bad ones I keep for myself.

Chemotherapy or Chemo Drug?

When I battled COVID for the second time at the beginning of this year, it threw my health up in the air and now, two months later, I am officially a bit out of whack -a tad wonky, out of balance, off-centered, and not too happy about it. The last two months have been more painful than usual.

Courage to Ugliness -Why you should paint an ugly picture

My first and second attempts to draw and paint were brutal, I stumbled and crushed under my own expectation, the perfection I had in mind didn’t happen. My painting was unclear and ugly. The beautiful scene I had pictured, had become a nightmare on canvas.

COVID took February away!

February came and went, and I didn’t do much. Quietly, I gave myself permission to be useless. COVID the II. came- lingered and knocked me out for four weeks.

Valentine’s Throughout The Years

We did it all, and we didn’t do too bad for a couple that doesn’t think too highly about Valentine’s Day to begin with. Just like so many, we are fully aware that chocolates or flowers are no assurance for everlasting love, still, we celebrated it like everybody else, perhaps sometimes a bit differently.

January! First Months of Change and Purpose?

January, the first month of the year is already gone, and it was an eventful one. Have I accomplished anything on my list of 12 Months of Change and Purpose? Yes, I have, not always by choice, but by luck.

Tomorrow We’ll Say Goodbye

This is not my first rodeo, nor will it be the last, but perhaps one of the hardest. After seventeen years, we will go for a ride to the Veterinarians’ office tomorrow, and we will come back home alone. My friend, the wonderful, crazy, mischievous, loyal, breakout artist, will not be with us anymore, and just thinking about it hurts. The pain only love can create. I can feel tears building up, and quickly I remind myself how lucky we have been to have him for so long.