Arriving in Yourself

I often had the feeling that I didn’t fit into this world. The feeling that the people I was surrounded by were somehow different from me, that they had completely different lifestyles, values, or views than I did, and that I did not SEE myself in any of them.

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There is No Way Back

How can five small pills be so powerful?

The fear I felt before I took my first low dose of a chemotherapy drug was real. I felt very nervous, had read up on it, had researched it mercilessly. The internet, as always, helped me to picture all kinds of horror scenarios in my head. The printed list of potential side effects that came with the medication didn’t help much either: Possible death. I chuckled when I read it out loud. My husband didn’t think it was humorous at all.

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An Old Love

Dog-eared pages, paragraphs high-lighted with a yellow marker, notes, and comments scribbled on the side in a handwriting only I can decipher. Some of them I might never open again, others will be enjoyed by my friends who only get the good ones I want to share, the bad ones I keep for myself.

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Tomorrow We’ll Say Goodbye

This is not my first rodeo, nor will it be the last, but perhaps one of the hardest. After seventeen years, we will go for a ride to the Veterinarians’ office tomorrow, and we will come back home alone. My friend, the wonderful, crazy, mischievous, loyal, breakout artist, will not be with us anymore, and just thinking about it hurts. The pain only love can create. I can feel tears building up, and quickly I remind myself how lucky we have been to have him for so long.

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