My husband’s second paycheck, still under a thousand dollars for two full weeks of work, was celebrated the same way as the first one. We drove to the bank together, cashed the check, and back at home, we got the hidden cash out of the kitchen drawer. We called our landlord, asked him if he wanted to pick up the rent, and an hour later he parked in our driveway.
Continue readingFebruary came and went, and I didn’t do much. Quietly, I gave myself permission to be useless. COVID the II. came- lingered and knocked me out for four weeks.
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“… And suddenly the theater prince threw his golden cardboard crown to the floor with momentum, he rolled up his sleeves, and shouted to the audience in a powerful voice:
Let’s go! Now in real life!“
Well, it wasn’t quite like that, but a little bit! Especially inside, in the heart of the man without a crown.
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My dog is gone, yet he is still here
watching me cry, making me smile.
He joined the other ghosts
and there are many -and more to come.
The first night in our new home was special in so many ways. How did it feel to close and lock the door behind us after so many months of not knowing in what state or what city we would end up, always wondering if -and when- we would have a place to call home again? Feeling unsettled for so long, always worrying if we could keep our dogs and if we could stay together. Being at home again, felt like nothing I had experienced before. When you regain something that was lost and could have been lost for a very long time, it’s a feeling of humbled victory.
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January, the first month of the year is already gone, and it was an eventful one. Have I accomplished anything on my list of 12 Months of Change and Purpose? Yes, I have, not always by choice, but by luck.
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We turned left on the old gravel road and waved a last goodbye to my best friend, who was holding our little dog in her arms. Then we closed the windows, and we focused on the road ahead of us.
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This is not my first rodeo, nor will it be the last, but perhaps one of the hardest. After seventeen years, we will go for a ride to the Veterinarians’ office tomorrow, and we will come back home alone. My friend, the wonderful, crazy, mischievous, loyal, breakout artist, will not be with us anymore, and just thinking about it hurts. The pain only love can create. I can feel tears building up, and quickly I remind myself how lucky we have been to have him for so long.
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We waited for Kurt’s background check. We were both nervous and fearful, for different reasons. “He wants me to co-sign for a car,” she told me and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “You will not do that, right?”
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Santa, in his infinite wisdom, decided to bring me a battery-operated, cordless snow shovel for Christmas.
Santa, who, as you know, I happen to sleep with, sat in his chair and watched me unpack. He grinned from one ear to the other, like he had just won the lottery. I believe in being grateful. One doesn’t complain about a present ever -you return later, after the Holidays- but a cordless, battery-operated snowblower? Seriously?
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The happy Quitter! 