An Old Wiener Dog

The On-Line Buzzletter: Update: Our 16 Year Old Dachshund is Drinking Water  Obsessively

Last week I met an older lady and her senior Wiener dog. She had brought the dog with her, “He doesn’t like waiting in the car,” she informed me and I told her it was fine with me. Our dogs were sleeping somewhere in the house.

“What’s his name,” I asked her and started padding the dog.

“Martini.”

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Just Thinking out Quietly

The Two-Party System Broke the Constitution - The Atlantic

A Democrat and a Republican meet in Trump’s stomach.
“Did he eat you too?” the Democrat asks.
“No, I came from the other side.

I haven’t heard the joke before. I laughed, then nodded. Yep, that’s how it’s done, also knows as brownnosing, if I am not mistaken.

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Age, Grace and Dignity

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A middle-aged woman  is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she’s got another 30 years she might as well make the most of it.

She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding by. She arrives in front of God and complains, “I thought you said I had another 30 years.”

God replies, “I didn’t recognize you.”

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