Everything hurts, Our hearts shadowed and strange, Minds made muddied and mute. We carry tragedy, terrifying and true. And yet none of it is new; We knew it as home, As horror, As heritage. Even our children Cannot be children, Cannot be.
His smile gave it all away, he was beaming with joy. “Throw it all in the dumpster,” the manager had ordered when the company he worked for delivered new cubicles and panel systems, and that’s when my husband spoke up and had asked if he could take them instead. Before the day was over, he had written permission, stating he could take all the cabinets and worksurfaces.
I want to take your hand and tell you it all will be alright. No worries, he will come back to you and you won’t be alone. And if you stay alone, please know we won’t care. Please stop worrying, the child you just started carrying might be severely disabled, but it will still be able to breathe -with the help of machines.
Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Secretary Day, Valentine’s Day for lovers, Husband appreciation day, Wife Appreciation Day. Why do we have these special days? Is it because we have forgotten to show appreciation on a daily base. We sure still say PLEASE and THANK YOU, so why do we feel it is not enough?
I often had the feeling that I didn’t fit into this world. The feeling that the people I was surrounded by were somehow different from me, that they had completely different lifestyles, values, or views than I did, and that I did not SEE myself in any of them.
My husband’s second paycheck, still under a thousand dollars for two full weeks of work, was celebrated the same way as the first one. We drove to the bank together, cashed the check, and back at home, we got the hidden cash out of the kitchen drawer. We called our landlord, asked him if he wanted to pick up the rent, and an hour later he parked in our driveway.
She invited me to stop at her little shop the next time my grandma and I would drive down to the village. “You come by and pick out what you want.” I could not wait. I had helped at our neighbor’s farm for days and even though I was young, my work and my assistance had been appreciated.