Lies, Promises and Rabbit Ears

My husband’s second paycheck, still under a thousand dollars for two full weeks of work, was celebrated the same way as the first one. We drove to the bank together, cashed the check, and back at home, we got the hidden cash out of the kitchen drawer. We called our landlord, asked him if he wanted to pick up the rent, and an hour later he parked in our driveway.

Continue reading

Between Not Enough and Too Much

She invited me to stop at her little shop the next time my grandma and I would drive down to the village. “You come by and pick out what you want.” I could not wait. I had helped at our neighbor’s farm for days and even though I was young, my work and my assistance had been appreciated.

Continue reading

Milk & Marriage

My husband disappointed me quite a bit throughout our marriage, especially during our first years as husband and wife. He was not the mindreader I needed him to be. He, just like me, had envisioned how married life would be, and as so often, some of our dreams were shattered by reality.

Continue reading

Excuse Me, Can I take this?

We spend the biggest part of Sunday in the car, driving through the neighborhood. We had noticed people were pulling out the trashcans for Monday already. Like most people, we had picked up things on the street before, but we never intentionally went out to go garbage shopping. We were hoping to find a dining chair, or maybe we would get really lucky and someone would throw an old table away.

Continue reading

Cheap but Not Easy

The first night in our new home was special in so many ways. How did it feel to close and lock the door behind us after so many months of not knowing in what state or what city we would end up, always wondering if -and when- we would have a place to call home again? Feeling unsettled for so long, always worrying if we could keep our dogs and if we could stay together. Being at home again, felt like nothing I had experienced before. When you regain something that was lost and could have been lost for a very long time, it’s a feeling of humbled victory.

Continue reading