Controllusion

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Your Beliefs
Your attitude
Your thoughts
Your perspective
How honest you are

Who your friends are
What books you read
How often you exercise
The type of food you eat
How many risks you take
How you interpret the situation
How kind you are to others
How kind you are to yourself
How often you say “I love you.”
How often you say “thank you.”
How you express your feelings
Whether or not you ask for help
How often you practice gratitude
How many times you smile today
The amount of effort you put forth
How you spend / invest your money
How much time you spend worrying
How often you think about your past
Whether or not you judge other people
Whether or not you try again after a setback
How much you appreciate the things you have


— Caleb LP Gunner,
“26 things that are completely under control”

As long as everything goes as planned, I am in control of my life. Then, when the unplanned, the unforeseen happens, that’s when I realize nothing was ever up to me and perhaps that’s not such a bad thing. Would I give myself challenges and throw obstacles in my own way? I doubt it. If it all would be up to me, I would never grow, and would not be forced to adjust, reconsider and sacrifice.

Controllusion!

I love the word! Our illusion to be in control is just that, an illusion -a controllusion.

Perhaps that’s where gratefulness comes from. Being grateful for living the way we planned it for a while, may it be one day or fifty years.

Overall, the number of things we still can control is stunningly high. We don’t always succeed.

Weakness is often in our way and so are pride and judgment. Good and bad memories, influencing our decisions.

When I read the list of the 26 things the second time, I was surprised to see that there is a lot I can control after all. Perhaps I should read it every day for a while, to make sure I am aware of all the control I have. I have a lot of power over myself and others.

May I be wise enough to handle it all the right way!

24 thoughts on “Controllusion”

  3. What a perfect word! Controllusion! I was fortunate enough, and incredibly naive, for decades, thinking that my careful living was responsible for why we didn’t suffer huge disappointments or pain. Worked like a charm-=until it didn’t. I’d hate to admit how old I was before the truth of what you share here became really true for me. Thank you for introducing this word to me. It really hits home!

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    • It took me years to fully understand it as well. Like you, I love the word “Controllusion” it sums it up. Life has the tendency to surprise us. Like you, I too thought I was in control until I wasn’t anymore.

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  8. Oh, Bridget – I love this post. Especially when we are feeling overwhelmed. Life is not controllable. Is that also a word or my bad grammar? This list offers comfort in that there are many aspects of life that are under our control. If we were to switch the words and relate them to others it may encourage the relinquishing of frustrations and resentment that flourish when a person desires to have control over another. Would you mind if I re-posted Caleb Gunner’s words, pinging back to you?

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