Defending my life…seriously?

 

So, is this what I will have to do from now on? Sitting there, talking about my life, looking at my past like Meryl Streep in the movie Defending your life and being judged by hmmm, well by whom?

The new me…

I remember the time before my 40’s birthday…the big “4” had me thinking for a while. I didn’t really care for the “over-the-hill” felling at all. How could I be already 40 if I still feel like 20? Well, turning 40 is a milestone, but although gives you a taste of how you will feel when you turn 50.

My own definition of No-man’s-land!

No man’s Land is Land that is unoccupied or is under dispute between parties that leave it unoccupied due to fear or uncertainty.

We always have a choice…

I tried to be a good girl, but there it was the whisper inside me, telling me “come on, why not nobody will know”. I listened and needless to say it never worked, I was always in trouble when I was a child.

Are you ready, willing and able?

Very often I read from the “Journey to the Heart” and I find this entry very fitting for everybody who wants to overcome an addiction like smoking.

 

1 week smoke-free….I hear voices in my head!

 

One week…OH my Gosh, I haven’t smoked for 7 days…a whole week without cigarettes! Me..the long time smoker hasn’t touched a cigarette for one whole week. Believe it or not, my last pack is still in the freezer…..unopened and untouched! 

Almost 1 week smoke-free – Am I an addict?

 

I looked at my chalkboard and it made me smile;  it showed a big 5! Wow almost a whole week smoke-free! Most of the time I am fine, but yesterday I had a craving and it was different. It hit me like a freight train and came from out of nowhere. It lasted a little bit longer as well -maybe 20 minutes, but still…..it didn’t kill me. I had more and more questions on my mind. I wanted to talk to other people like me; I wanted to find smokers like me who just quit …but where?

The first 3 days without cigarettes!

 

I have this kitchen decoration on top of our fridge, it’s an Italian chef holding a small chalkboard. It’s too small and I can’t really use it for anything. I wrote a big 3 on it! I haven’t smoked in 3 days…and I can honestly say I felt confused! What was happening?

3 months smoke free today….lets take a look back!

 

90 Days smoke free…wow! I have saved $399,38 and left 1,788 cigarettes untouched. It sounds good doesn’t it! I feel proud and bought me something special, like a celebration gift! So much has changed in the last 3 months…….let’s go back and see how it started!

The happy smoker started to feel unhappy!

 

 

I smoked for so long it seemed to be just a part of me. I was one of those happy smokers! I knew it was a bad habit, but didn’t beat myself up over it. Life was different 30 years ago, smokers were happy in commercials, famous people recommended cigarettes. We didn’t question it that much; smoking was just a part of our daily life. Of course that changed and more and more smokers started to feel really guilty about it. I never understood that part. If you don’t like something, why would you continue to do it? Addiction…you have to be kidding me, I am not addicted to smoking.” I can stop anytime I want to”! Boing..there you have it, that’ was my statement then! I didn’t know any better.