I Think Emojis Make Me Stupid

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Emojis kill brains. Emojis make you look stupid. And me too. All of us. I think emojis make us all kind of silly.

I used to be able to put my feelings and thoughts into words quite well – in a few languages if I might add. I am a translator and an interpreter. Well, have been, a couple of years ago I retired when I wasn’t at retirement age. Now I work with my hands. I thought they deserved to be used when my brain – and other brains – had been replaced with emotionless language software.

Emotionless! I don’t like being emotionless.

About ten years ago – or was it twenty? – we all started writing LOL and ROFL because from one day to the next it seemed we all were rolling on the floor with laughter – of course, still holding the keyboard in our hands. Was I the only one who did it so excessively that I often chuckled when I LOL-ed? All of a sudden I was so funny. Then came the emoticons, sometimes even with a nose. :-D, ;-), :(, xD.

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To this day, I put them behind everything, to let people know that I am friendly or sad. They mean everything and nothing. How could I leave a comment and not put 🙂 at the end, so that you know it is a friendly comment? Goodness, I would have to use words. Don’t make me use words!

Then came “haha”, which I also used too often, and much too mendacious, and still like to use today. In reality, however, this has not quite so impractical effects, because it can only be used for a laugh and also sounds like haha in real life. So I stopped chuckling, which was hard, because I am actually a chuckler (is this even a word) haha?

Then came the emojis. I only forgive emojis to people I like – and I like a lot (of people).

For a very long time, I refused to answer them:
“How are you? 😉  – No.
Or did I just not get it? (again)

I was often accused of writing unkindly. But – surprise! – a message has the same content, whether it says, “I’m on my way!” or “I’m on my way! Dashing away emoji.” At some point, I was also broken for a short time. I’ve answered with hearts to nice messages, a tearful face to depressing ones, and a fire emoji not knowing it meant the opposite. Emojis have meaning, a meaning I did not get – or didn’t want to know.

Is there an emoji school, or an emoji-crash course for people like me? Haha, LOL, ROFL 🙂

Emojis, after all, are faster and express feelings that you might otherwise have to write a whole sentence for. “Hey, I am going to a party this weekend.” Wow, it takes 2 seconds to write, where it can be so much easier to press short cut-copy-paste keys. Isn’t it?

Emojis explain and concretize words, whereas otherwise only more words would explain and concretize. If I don’t use cookies and milk emojis during the holidays, people might think I am an Ebenezer – or worse.

Maybe people use emojis because they don’t trust me to feel the right thing? Or do they use it because they think they might not be able to write with the right emotion?

But the problem is that nowadays you use emojis so that the other person knows something is wrong, and then make a phone call and express in words what the virtual message was supposed to express.

Boy does it all make sense? 🙂 😉

That’s another thing. Talking on the phone has become an extremely courageous intrusiveness, and calls are now an invasion of privacy. What if I’m brushing my teeth or I could be in the middle of an argument? If someone is allowed to call me, then that person better be one of my best friends – or a paying customer, because, for everything else, there’s WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram, emails, and yes, even SMS and my beloved texts. 🙃

So I don’t even know how to describe in words anymore that I’m grumpy, hungover, sick, sad, happy, euphoric, or hopeful. That I’m full of joy or love. But I don’t have to — emojis can do it all these days! 🙏

I assume this post annoys a few people now?

I am so sorry. I just blabbered along. (Use emojis, Bridget)

I wanted to show off, hoping I could still articulate myself a bit. I was trying to put my thoughts into words.

The truth? Let me say (write) it again. I hate emojis. Emojis kill brains. Emojis make you look stupid. And me too. All of us. Emojis make us lazy. Not using emojis makes other people think you mean something evil or unfriendly, simply because the text can say anything and the emoji summarizes the written message anyway, or excuses it all with a harmless grin.

Emojis make us forget how to formulate thoughts – or at least, because of emojis, we don’t have to anymore if we don’t want to. And that annoys me.

Only the heart. I love that. My heart and your heart can’t be big enough.

Daily writing prompt

What are your favorite emojis?

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