You Shall Not Lie (About your Weight)

“What’s your weight now?” the nurse on the phone wanted to know, and I sighed. I was wondering what I had told them way back then when I still wanted to lose weight. I started chuckling a bit. It was early in the morning, way too early for any kind of lie -not even a very white one.

Since I have promised myself to be more open on my blog, and this of course MUST also include writing about some of my shortcomings, here you go, this is how the conversation went, and how I became my own MORNING LAUGHTER.

***

Nurse @ 7:20 am: “You have a virtual appointment today with the Doctor at 3 pm. I am calling for the pre-check-in.”

Me: “Good morning.”

Nurse: (Names all my medications and supplement) “Are you still taking all of them?”

Me: “Kinda…I have adjusted some of the amounts? I went down on Fruitloops (That’s what I named the low-dose chemo drug) because I couldn’t handle eight pills. I added Zinc to my supplements, halved the amount of Folic Acid (needed to avoid the side effects of the Chemo drug), added Probiotics, forgot about the Multi-Vitamins, and so on.

Nurse: “So you adjusted pretty much all your meds?”

Me: “Kinda.”

Nurse: “You need to explain that to the doctor.”

Me: “Will do” (Sipping my decaf, brown-water-coffee-wanna-be -still trying to wake up)

Nurse: “What was your pain level last week, from 0 to 10?”

Me: “2-3 sometimes a ZERO. I stopped my pain meds too, and I am tickled pink”

Nurse: “Laughs…awesome”

Nurse: “What’s your weight right now?”

Me: “Well, that’s the thing, I have lost 47 pounds in the last seven months. 20 pounds more than I wanted to lose.”

Nurse: “So you don’t know your weight?”

Me: “Yes, I do, but I don’t know what I told you guys two years ago.”

Nurse: (Chuckling) “So you lied about your weight?

Me: (Also chuckling) “Yes of course!” (Chuckling loud)

Nurse: “And you have lost 47 pounds?”

Me: “Yes, and it stinks that I don’t remember the weight I gave you back then.”
“I got a new scale, one that actually works, now I know my weight.”

Nurse: “Let me help you.” And she tells me the number I gave them back then.

Me: “Ahhh shoot! I will need to lose 25 more pounds to hit my lie?”

Nurse: (Roaring with laughter)

Me: (Laughing as well) “By then I will be underweight.”

Nurse: “How about your height? Is that still accurate?” (Snickering)

Me: “Who knows. What did I tell you?” (We both lost it)


I got a good laugh first thing in the morning. Also, another life lesson. No matter how small or insignificant a lie might seem, just don’t do it!

Why did I lie about my weight? We had an old scale, one that gave out numbers like the ball machine at a church bingo. I didn’t know my weight, because I never stepped on it. When I was asked to monitor my weight, that’s when I invested in a new modern scale. The scale now even remembers our weight, which my husband thinks is unnecessary and very inconvenient.

Fascinating how it works. The moment I put my health first and changed my diet accordingly, when I ate and adjusted to feel good when I cooked to be pain-free, then weight loss happened and it was just a side effect.

Sucks to lie about your weight first, and then you can’t brag about your weight loss. ๐Ÿ™‚

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46 thoughts on “You Shall Not Lie (About your Weight)

  1. Pingback: You Shall Not Lie (About your Weight) – Musings Of A Night Nurse

  2. Pingback: Stu’s World: Post Picks For August Thru November – Something to Stu Over

  3. What a funny story! I think everyone lies about their weight on their driver’s license, but it’s a bit dangerous to do so with the docs, even it’s painful to admit ๐Ÿ™‚

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  4. So me! I can’t bring myself to step on a scale between one annual physical and another. When I do get to that annual appointment (another one coming up in January), I’m always a bit surprised. My hubby, on the other hand, steps on our scale every single day at the same time of day. It’s “just a number” they say, but I don’t know why it terrifies me. Your humorous telephone transcript had me laughing (and jiggling in certain places) at myself. I’m thankful to have read your blog today.
    ~ Cindie over at Barefoot Lily Lady

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:
    My Featured Blogger this week is “Ladybug” of The Happy Quitter. Like a modern day Erma Bombeck (despite the fact that she’s European-born and English is her second language), Ladybug perfectly captures the little LOL-inducing absurdies of everyday life. But don’t take my word for it — reading is believing!

    Liked by 7 people

  6. This would be a great television sit-com scene. It’s so relatable! And funny! It sounds like you’re really doing well with both your weight and the pain management, and I’ll bet you’re more honest than many of the patients this nurse interviews. But your point is well taken. Why would we think it’s a good idea to lie to our doctors. Hmmm. My yearly physical is tomorrow. I will remember this and I have heard your advice. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  7. This is the BEST. The nurse could probably use a little humor in her life and you supplied that. In high school we had SAT tests senior year. They were standardized tests and counted big time to getting into college. My score in math was dismally low and so I made up a number. Keeping track of that number was no easy feat. I laugh about it now but then it was no laughing matter!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good morning, my friend. It’s nice to get a comment from you when I am online. ๐Ÿ™‚
      The American pounds vs the European pound/kilogram. While I am americanized in thinking (70%) , eating and living, I never got the American weight.
      I see a number on the scale, have to convert it in my old head, try to remember. It just doesn’t work. I don’t know what I weigh or should weigh, because I think in kg. Our new scale shows European pounds and kg, then my husband is lost -which is wonderful, because he thinks he lost 20 pounds. Sometimes it’s funny in our home.

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  8. Having recently posted about flamingos, I really enjoyed your opening cartoon! It is good to laugh at ourselves from time to time. I weigh myself every now and then – before dressing or even having my first cup of tea ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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