My Grandmother and I had THE TALK shortly after my 16 birthday. It was the talk, where she tried to explain to me what being an adult and being a woman meant. I tried to explain to her that I knew it all -or almost all- but she didn’t listen. She made me sit down and then she started talking and I listened.
I expected the “bee-story”, but it wasn’t that at all. It was more her way of telling me that I should start thinking and acting like an adult. She looked at me for a long time and said “you do know that you will be alone one day, after I am gone” and I remember the whirlwind of emotions that sentence caused in me.
It was like she had opened Pandora’s Box with just one sentence.
I knew my Grandmother was old and I was aware of the fact that she might be passing on one day. Buy that day was far away down the road. She would see me getting married; she would be there when I would have children. I had no doubt in my mind that she would still be around for many years to come.
The world “orphan” came to my mind and I wondered what would happen to me. My Grandmother knew what I was thinking; she continued talking about the farm and about all the responsibilities.
The farm belonged to us, but only the buildings. The land was a 99-year church rental, something that is still very common in Europe.
The conversation took a different turn after that. She showed me a drawer in her bedroom, with envelopes full of instructions and paperwork. She wanted me to know what I had to do “in case….”.
Then she got the atlas, the big book I loved so much and she put it on the table. “You are so lucky“, she said “you won’t be forced to stay on the farm like so many” and I didn’t understand.
Wasn’t that what I was supposed to do with my life? Well, it wasn’t what she wanted me to do with my life and that day I learned about the faith she had in me.
She wanted me to study at a University, she wanted me to travel and see the places I always read and talked about.
“The world is yours”, that was her message to me that day and she said it with a sparkle in her eyes.
My Grandmother didn’t pass away until I was an adult, but that day changed my mind set for good. I was still a teenager, but had stepped into my future for just a short time.
Later on in life I learned that she had been right. I was lucky and still am~!
When Childhood Ends
Write about a defining moment in your life when you were forced to grow up in an instant (or a series of instants).
The happy Quitter! 
Bridget, i have tears in my eyes. You expressed this so clearly, it made me appreciate my own darling grandmother too. What a wise and unselfish woman your grandmother was and how lucky that she could see a different and better future for you!
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Oh Gosh I didn’t meant to make anyone cry. It is what it is and I really feel that I have been very lucky.
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Yes, to be loved is the biggest gift anyone can give! 🙂
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This is a very beautiful post, Bridget… Made me very emotional.
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I’m afraid I did the same thing to my 2 sons the first time we left them alone at home while we travelled to the other side of the country. They were 17 and 15.
I have this *thing* about planning for worst case scenarios. I walked them through our filing cabinet of papers and various accounts and 3 critical phone numbers to call if anything ever happened. Those 3 people would be able to take care of anything and everything.
It freaked them out a little bit … but, much like you said, they matured several notches following that experience.
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Now in retrospect I can say it was the right thing to do. I needed to be prepared just in case. I think there is a day in our life when we look at the unicorn and see it as what it is, just a horse :-). Your sons will remember how responsible you acted when they were young and I would bet they will do the same whit their children one day.
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You mean unicorns are real?!! {crushed dreams}
We never really know which of our actions leave scars vs positive influences. Having said that, I’m relieved to see that my sons have developed a practical approach to life but still have a sense of adventure 🙂
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I hear you, I almost fell of my unicorn when I heard someone question their existence :-).
Honestly -just between you and me- I think children who are raised with love but lost of realism make better adults.
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One of the truisms from the Beatles … all you need is love. Everything is gravy 🙂
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You had a wise grandmother. No nonsense and very caring. I had parents and my paternal grandparents were very much in the back-ground, especialy after we migrated to Australia. A very well told memory.
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My Grandmother was my hero and I hope I became at least to a part the woman she wanted me to be.
She put some seeds out and succeeded..if that makes any sense.
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I lived with my father and stepmother until I graduated, then I left my family and “discovered”my granny.
Authoritative , but wise and sincere , she taught me a lot through the stories and the examples she wanted me to know ….
As for the end of childhood , it was while expecting my first child , for me!
I thought I had already grown up , as I looked like an adult , but secretly , until then I had only been a little girl!
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I guess we all grow up one way or the other, what’s the way it’s suppose to be~! Glad to hear you had a Granny in your life as well.
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I had no goal, no plan, except that I would write. I wrote. I married. I unmarried. I remarried. I unmarried. In there was a kid, friends, jobs, life, more life, near death, life again, love again, new home, newer home, old-new home, almost dead, back to life. But I didn’t know I was an adult until I became a grandmother. And I’m still waiting to find out what I’ll be if I grow up.
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You were very, very lucky 🙂
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It’s a sobering moment, when we’re faced with mortality. Ours or someone we love… it doesn’t matter. I’m glad your Grandmother hit you gently with it.
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Very interesting and inspiring. You had a very thoughtful and wise grandmother.
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