I Had Become a Thief

…

EVERYTHING, even the dumbest of the dumb decisions I made (and there were many) helped me grow because there is no such thing as failure when you continue trying.

Everything in our life is a learning experience, all it takes is us to listen -and learn. And even if we are unwilling to accept the outcome of our highly questionable mindless decisions, sooner or later it will sink in. Nothing is ever lost. It’s stuck forever in our conscience; as we all know, that’s a loud inside voice.

Why did I listen and take the Mars chocolate bar, just because the other girls in school had done the same? I wanted to be like them. I wanted to belong to their little group. I did what needed to be done. I listened to the wrong people until I stole the chocolate bar.

I took it from the shelf and put it in my pocket and within seconds it seemed to burn a hole in my coat. I felt so guilty, it all felt so wrong. I had become a thief. I am sure my face was red and the guilt I felt could have been seen by a blind man a mile away. When I checked out, I paid only for the teenage magazine. The owner of the little store looked at me -almost like he knew what I had done. I crumbled inside, hoped I wouldn’t get caught, and needed to be caught and embarrassed at the same time.

But nothing happened. I walked out of the store, a 12-year-old thief, who had just taken her favorite chocolate bar without paying for it.

I almost ran out of the store and didn’t talk to the other girls. I crossed the street and walked fast toward the entry to our boarding school. On my way back upstairs to my room, I handed the chocolate bar to a little girl, a few years younger than me. She was all smile -I wasn’t.

I had gotten rid of the evidence, but not of the guilt. The girls who had asked me to take something without paying – as a test of courage – waited for me upstairs. I passed by them. I didn’t talk to them that day and never joined their group.

Over the remaining years in boarding school, I continued going to the little store on the days when we were allowed to go shopping. I never took the change, left it, hoping to make up for the loss I had caused.

Every step we make, helps us to grow, even when it feels like we are shriveling.

Every decision we make teaches us a lesson, the good ones just teach faster, and the bad ones hit harder and shake our core. The bad decisions we make teach us the most.

Life’s lessons! Sometimes they are painful. As for me and my life, knowingly I never took something without paying again, as a matter of fact, I even feel uncomfortable when something is offered for free. Over the years things got stolen from me, perhaps something I needed to experience as well.

The pictures show the boarding school in Dietramszell and the small store across the street. Oh, these memories.

…

Daily writing prompt

Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

View all responses