Get rid of the BMW~!

aging bmw

Get rid of the BMW??? Really???

My next door neighbor to our right is a 81 year old woman, her name is Viginia. She lives alone, got divorced  in the 80’s and never re-married. Virginia is a very active lady. There is a treadmill in the middle of her TV room and she walks on it every day.

“I have to walk at least 3 miles a day to stay in shape,” she says. She is very independent, still works in her yard and only allows others to help her, when things are too heavy or too bulky. She tries to shovel snow now and then, but we don’t let her. We, the neighbors and her kids, got our foot down -for the first time.

She had her share of health issues. She is a cancer survivor, she had heart problems and a few surgeries. She loves her new hip, “It’s better than the old one.” She will show you the scare on her chest and you can see the pacemaker box under her skin. “That thing keeps me ticking,” she laughs. Last year she was bored and decided she didn’t just want to sit at home, so she went out and took a part time job in a realtor’s office. “I answer the phone for a couple of hours, read a book and get paid for it.” 3 times a week she goes and plays Bridge with her gentleman friend. “We are friends only,” she says and I always grin. Her outside matches her inside. She is always nicely dressed, still colors her blonde hair and wears light make up. I know she has bad days too, but she never complains. Her son lets me know, then I cook for her,  “I cooked too much again,” is my excuse, when I bring her a container.

My neighbor to the other side is Susan. She is 66 years old, married to her high school sweetheart and a poster child for the word Grandmother. She loves here children and her grandchildren and she will tell you about them, any chance she gets. She sits at home all day long and doesn’t have any hobbies. They drive to church on Sunday and she goes shopping during the week, but that’s pretty much the only time she leaves her house. Her husband does everything around their house, “He is in better shape,” she explains and she is right.

Her second favorite thing to talk about are her health problem. There is always something wrong with her. She has type II diabetes and is on medication. “There is no other way,” she says and she will explain in lengths, why she is overweight and why she really can’t exercise. I think she loves being sick, because it gives her something to talk about it. Her outside matches somehow. She wears elastic pants and wide blouses. Her hair is a beautiful silver gray, but the cut is old-fashioned. She is overweight -at least by 50 pounds- but she doesn’t want to go on a diet. “I am too old for that,” she says and she believes it. Susan is a very sweet lady, we all help her as much as we can.

A few days after I got diagnosed with a serious illness  I talked with Virginia -the older one- on the fence line. I complained quite a bit that day. Life just wasn’t fair and I felt cheated. “Why me?” and I went on and on. Then I told her about the challenges that I had ahead of me and I talked about my plan to beat it all.

She smiled and gave me a pet on my shoulder. “Good girl,” she said and that’s a compliment coming from her.

“Get rid of the BMW,” she said and I didn’t know what to say.

She is older and maybe she doesn’t know what car I drive. I wish I would own a BMW, but I don’t.

“Why would I get rid of a BMW?” I asked and she laughed.

“BMW stands for bitching, moaning and whining,” she explained to me. “None of that will help you. Bite the bullet, do what you have to do and have a positive attitude.” That’s the advice she gave me.

So, I have two older ladies living beside me, who couldn’t be any more different. The younger one is indeed a BMW and the older one is a tough cookie.

Watching both of them has tough me a lot. It showed me, that the way I will be aging is totally up to me. I can accept it and embrace it and make the best out of it, or I will end up being a BMW myself.

Aging is a privilege, not a right!

I decided to get rid of the BMW.

 


 

 

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Young At Heart

What are your thoughts on aging? How will you stay young at heart as you get older?

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30 thoughts on “Get rid of the BMW~!

  1. LOL Get rid of the BMW…until the sentence explaining what it was an acronym for I was trying to figure out what a car had to do with your story of elderly people who were neighbors. Great advice …I myself will try not to ever have a BMW attitude. It was a pleasant surprise to see one neighbor’s name is Susan but not so pleasant when she is the one with a BMW! Thanks for writing…certainly gives one pause to think about how we see and deal with the cards life hands us. =)

    • I am glad you liked the post. Susan, my neighbor is a sweetheart, I love her to pieces, but she is a whiner. I always feel that she is in her own way, being sick is easier for her, this way she doesn’t have to work on her health…if that makes any sense.

      • Yes that does make sense, strangely enough. I have people I know that are whiners….after leaving them I find my energy is just zapped. I think their whining sucked it all out of me. =( I try not to be a whiner even though my name is Susan too. LOL Sorry for the delay in responding but it has been crazy busy in our house for the past few days.

      • Yes they certainly do…a few years back I cut all such people out of my life and it has done me a world of good. I have more energy and I find it easier to stay on the optimistic side of life. Negatives don’t even occur to me. =)

  2. My philosophy exactly. I am a cancer victim, and at the start of my illness 10 years ago I attended a cancer support group. The first thing I was told was not to ask ‘Why me?’ because the answer would come back ‘Why not?’. It’s true, and now I think why should I have thought myself exempt? Ha ha, I’m still here 10 years later and trying as hard as I can not to BMW!

    • “Why not me” is the answer I gave myself. Don’t get me wrong, I have tough days and sometimes I throw a little pity party all for myself. But it never lasts long. I was born to smile…no matter what. Thank you for reading.

  3. If a positive attitude were the only thing one needed, I’d be in GREAT shape. But things could be a LOT worse and sometimes, it’s good to remember that. Things can always be worse and for a lot of folks, they really are.

    • A good friend of mine died just a few days before Christmas. We didn’t speak for two years -long story that I will share and I had no idea how sick she was during her last month.

      Yes, it can always be worse.

  4. This is such a great read! What a great neighbor (the older one) to have….the other neighbor is good to have as well to remind you of how you don’t want to be. Age is all about how we see it. I found you through the daily post and enjoy your writing style and am now a follower. Here was my thought on today’s daily writing prompt if you care to take a peak http://wp.me/p5fmoJ-NW 💌Trista

  5. Thank you to Virginia for a wonderful new expression – Get Rid of the BMW. This is one I will remember 🙂

    I’m staring down my 60th birthday in a couple of months and my unhappiness has been increasing the closer it gets. I’m not one who normally frets over my calendar age, but this one has been really eating at me.
    A few week’s ago I was reminded of that expression “Growing Old is a Privilege that Many Don’t Get to Experience”. It was exactly what I needed to slap me out of my funk.
    Great post Bridget. This is a message we all need to be reminded of occasionally 🙂

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