“In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you.”
― Dorothy Parker
A short and witty poem sums it all up – at least for me. It’s almost like a description of my life. When I was young, I tried to please people left and right. I was always worried what others would think of me; I avoided conflict as much as I could. I wanted to be liked and longed for acceptance.
Looking back now, I believe it was a good thing, by trying to please everybody around me, I learned a lot. It taught me a lesson or two about myself; it helped me to understand others.
I was busy in my 20’s, and 30’s there was not much time for self-discovery. And to be honest, I wasn’t ready then either. I was busy starting a career, I was trying to be the perfect wife, the perfect friend, the perfect everything.
It was almost like my character development had been put on hold for about ten years.
Later, in my late 30’s, that’s when I started to discover myself, that’s when I developed a new form of self-respect. More than ever, did I stand up for what I believed was right.
Now, in my early 50’s, I still try to please people but it happens on my terms, either you like me or you don’t-both is fine with me. I can’t be everybody’s Darling -I tried but it didn’t work. “To hell, my Love with you,” stands for every person in my life who didn’t accept me the way I am. Bosses, friends, neighbors and even strangers, who tried to change me to their liking.
Youth is only one season of life; it’s a beautiful one that I wish everybody could enjoy to the fullest. As a friend of mine once said: “Enjoy the perky boops as long as you can.” 🙂
I don’t see the point in crying after my youth, when there is so much fun in aging. I don’t feel old; I doubt I ever will.