The Bone and the Gutter



The other night I made an Austrian stir fry. I cut the meat off the bone, sliced it thin and prepared the dish the way I always do. Later on when we were eating my husband found a piece of bone on his plate.

“It always ends up on my plate,” he said and shook his head; I couldn’t help but smile. 

That is correct. No matter where we go if something can go wrong, it will mostly happen to my husband. For the longest time, I wondered about it. Why is that?

I developed a theory about it. I don’t know if I am wrong or right, but to me it makes sense.

He is asking for it, that’s why.

My husband is the born pessimist. Like so often, opposites attracted each other, and he fell in love with me, the optimist, who never fails to see the bright side. We balance each other out. I lift him up, and he pulls me down when my feet -once again- leave the ground.

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
― Oscar Wilde

Nothing could explain my husband and me better than Oscar Wilde did.  Imagine us as tiny people, who somehow ended up in the gutter of our house. My husband would look down and would complain about the height, and then he would find things wrong with the gutter and the roof. He would list all the things that could happen to us with lightning speed; he clearly would see the danger of our situation.

I, on the other hand, would look at the stars and would try to forget about all the danger around us. I would listen to my husband, because some of the things he says actually do make sense, but then I would block him out. (Of course, this part is fiction.)

Back to reality. Why didn’t I get the bone? Why is always him?

I have no real explanation for it, but I have a theory. I think we harvest what we plant. In other words, life gives us back what we ask for.

It’s not that I don’t see what’s negative around me; it’s not that I am not aware of the risks in our everyday life. I just choose to not make it the primary focus in my life.

Joanne, my blogging friend, asked me yesterday jokingly:

“Do you ever consider it a miracle you made it to adulthood?” 😉

Her comment made me laugh, but it also made me think. Yes, I have been extremely lucky in my life, haven’t I? I trusted in people -often strangers- and most of the time my trust was rewarded. The few times I got disappointed don’t count in my books.

I am not naive; I know some people will take advantage of me. There are times when a red signal inside me asks me to be careful. But mostly I get the green light and I continue going.

There are many more good people out there than bad. Sadly, that’s a fact we seem to forget more and more.

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27 thoughts on “The Bone and the Gutter

  1. Wilde is another “classic” author whose works I intend to pursue sometime down the road. Wikipedia describes his life as kind of a tragicomedy (my interpretation) but I love the outlook he developed as demonstrated in this quote.
    You and your spouse create a good balance, which I see as almost a requirement for any long-lasting relationship, including mine.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think you’re spot on, Bridget. I wonder if pessimists really attract more negative experiences or if that’s just what they focus on and remember? While negative things that happen to optimists are let go more easily in favor of the positives. It’s so interesting because it certainly does seem like there’s something karmic happening. Keep looking at the stars!


  3. That sounds very much like me and my boyfriend.
    He is kind and a good person but a pesimist and I am someone who chooses to believe even if it means a few bumps and bruises here and there.
    I loved you post, keep believei​​n​g, that is what keeps the good alive.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m glad I made you laugh, because after I hit the *send* button, I second guessed myself and wondered if the comment sounded pejorative. I’m glad you took it in the spirit it was intended 🙂

    You know that I agree with you on this one. We tend to get what we’re expecting and I deliberately choose to expect beauty and good things. Like you, I rely on an inner *radar* that perhaps a situation is not as it appears. I rely on it to keep me out of trouble 😉


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